The Bachelor is bad and boujee

Corinne and Nick during last night's episode. (Screenshot/ABC)

ABC’s The Bachelor has been on for 15 years now, with the first episode premiering in 2002. The concept is simple: one man, 25 women and a quest for true love. No one can predict what type of drama will go down at the Bachelor Mansion, and this season is promising to be more dramatic than ever.

Group Date:

A Backstreet Boys VIP experience? First of all, who knew the backstreet boys were still performing? Corinne’s confident façade begins to crack as the girls work to learn choreography before competing to win a solo dance with Nick. It’s pretty obvious to me why she’s so insecure since her dance moves are more cringeworthy than her fake blonde hair and embarrassingly dark roots.

“I’m not a cry baby,” Corinne weeps through tears, as she “struggles” to try and be herself. Oh how the tables have turned. Danielle L. is now looking like a front runner, which is good since I have her winning my bachelor bracket. She knows how to be vulnerable but not too forward, which is the key to this show.

On the other hand, Corinne doesn’t understand this show at all. Why is she so surprised that Nick is kissing other girls? I’m starting to think Nick will forgive anything Corinne does; she could murder him and he’d still give her a rose if she looked hot doing it. She also purposefully tries to make the other girls uncomfortable by bringing up her nanny. It’s certainly working on me.

One on One:

For this date, Vanessa and Nick board a “zero gravity airplane” which simulates the feeling of floating in space. Clearly, the dates on this show are pretty weird. This date would be scary for me, and it turned out not as cool as I thought. Vanessa felt more motion sickness than love sick, and I felt embarrassed for her when she had to use not one, but two barf bags. I questioned why the date continued but it’s obvious the show must go on whether Vanessa enjoys the ride or not.

But this worked out for her because Nick is actually being cute and, dare I say, genuine? for the first time all season.

If there is one thing that is true about this show, it’s that everyone gets way too personal way too quickly. For example, it’s so odd that Corrine compared the bachelor limo to her grandfather’s funeral.

And now Nick is crying as he reminisces on his old Bachelor experiences. This date reminded me of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix...the scene when Harry kisses Cho Chang and she starts crying.   

Group date 2:

Oh boy I would not be down for this date. Anything involving athletic competition just spells disaster. Nick would immediately send me home when he saw me attempt to run from this date.

Side Note:

If Astrid thinks she’s fooling anyone by pretending she meant to wear a more supportive sports bra...she isn’t.

Bachelor-themed sporting events are the perfect amount of extra in my opinion. From tossing a javelin arrow into a giant heart, to high jumping into the arms of a giant Nick poster, The Bachelor producers have perfected how to be cheesy. This giant poster of Nick is reminiscent of that giant poster of Troy Bolton hanging in East High in High School Musical. But the enormous engagement ring crashing to the ground may have been slightly over dramatized, but then again, the entire season thus far has set new records in drama.

Side Note:

Can we all just appreciate that the cocktail reception is taking place at “Bigdaddy’s antiques?” Is this show even real? (No).

Throughout the date, Dominique is acting too stubborn considering Nick can’t know she’s unhappy if she doesn’t say something. It’s not too shocking that she’s going home; I think she would have soon anyways. But aren’t the Bachelors supposed to send girls home at the rose ceremony? If Nick keeps saying ‘see ya later’ during the dates, then there’s nothing for us to see later. And I’m also not surprised that Rachel got the rose since she got the first impression rose as well.

Pool party:

I’m pretty convinced that Corinne is actually six years old since she has a nanny and adores bounce houses. It’s also clear to me that Nick is only looking for a good time. He enables Corinne. She seems to be the Chad of this season. Classic bachelor enemy material.

On the other hand, I like Vanessa because I think she knows what she wants, but I have a feeling that will intimidate Nick. Vanessa asks the real questions and I support that 100 percent. I am so sick of the contestants never calling the Bachelor on his questionable life choices.

And as a final thought, Josephine makes me cringe permanently. From her limo exit involving a raw hot dog in the first episode, to her embarrassing serenade to Nick at the end of this episode, she’s already given us an entire season’s worth of discomfort.

See where the season picks up and follow along every Monday at 8p.m. on ABC.


Katherine O’Shea is a campus correspondent for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at katherine.o'shea@uconn.edu. She tweets at @koshea527