With the inauguration of President-elect Donald Trump just days away, members of the Daily Campus Life Section brainstormed what they think Barack Obama’s new job should be after he leaves the White House.
Claire Galvin, Senior Staff Writer
Hopefully, the next few years will bring Barack Obama some much-deserved downtime. But, in case the 55-year-old isn’t ready to retire, I propose a new profession: audiobook narration. Obama is a beautiful speaker, whether you agree with his policies or not. Obama has already won two Grammy Awards for Best Spoken Word Album for narrating his books “Dreams From my Father” and “The Audacity of Hope.” Obama is a voracious reader, so reading a few extra books a year would probably make him a happy man. I’ve already read “Dreams From my Father,” but catch me next week crying myself to sleep over Barry’s narration of “The Audacity of Hope.”
Dan Wood, Staff Writer
Lame duck Barack Obama has quite the decision in front of him. He must find a new line of work to put food on the table for his girls when the strange orange creature comes to evict the beloved first family. But what could Barry possibly do to make money but not have to deal with people interrupting him for questions and pictures and the press? The perfect solution is for Barack Obama to become a professional Obama impersonator. He could hang out in L.A. or Vegas with the other impersonators and he wouldn’t ever get too much attention. And with no impersonator that could possibly do a better job than the man himself, he is guaranteed a nice, stress-free job where he can just be himself.
Matt Gilbert, Staff Writer
President Obama’s last days in office are upon us, and some are wondering what will be next for him. After eight of the most stressful years of his life, Barack Obama’s next career step should be one in which stress is all but non-existent. Therefore, it is time for Obama to become a professional dog walker. Science says dogs relieve stress, and Obama has been under stress, so it is clearly the best career option. Who doesn’t want to be able to say that Barack Obama walks their dog? The whole idea markets itself.
Brian Roach, Campus Correspondent
As the final days of Obama’s term wind down, our soon-to-be-ex-President is sure to discover a newfound level of boredom over the next few years. Naturally, he will seek a new outlet for his voice and will have a lot more free time on his hands. This is the perfect time for Obama to take up a new part-time vocation as a pop vocalist. Yes, he would have to take vocal lessons for at least six months beforehand, but his talent for oratory would lend him the lyricism and flow to captivate audiences all over America. With Michelle, Malia and Sasha as his background singers and guest appearances from their tiny canine pal Bo, the Obamas would sweep the nation as the next pop sensation.
Claire Galvin is a senior staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dan Wood is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email at email@example.com.
Matthew Gilbert is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Brian Roach is a campus correspondent for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email at email@example.com.