Schae - For candy corn
Candy corn is a Halloween classic. It’s iconic. When you see those little white, orange and yellow triangles, you know what time of year it is. The sugary-sweet taste when you bite into a kernel of candy corn is unlike anything else.
Plus, they never go bad, so you can enjoy the treat year-round… And before you tell me the no-expiration-date thing sketches you out, ramen and vodka don’t go bad either and y’all don’t seem to have a problem consuming those.
A recent study by CandyStore.com detailed the most popular candies in each state in 2017. Guess which candy won in six states, more than any other? That’s right, candy corn. Connecticut’s favorite was Almond Joy. Really, guys? Coconut?
I’m not saying candy corn has to be your favorite. It’s definitely not my favorite. But if there’s a bag around, you bet I’m indulging in a few pieces of candy corn.
Candy corn is to Halloween what candy canes are to Christmas. They come hand-in-hand. Candy corn welcomes the season where everything gets cold and dies, so it provides a little ray of pastel-colored joy. Stay on the right side of this debate and keep consuming the waxy, sugary delight that is candy corn.
Amar - Extremely against candy corn
Candy corn is absolutely the worst thing in the world in terms of candy.
As J. Jonah Jameson would say, “[Candy corn] is a public menace.” My coworker above seems to think that because candy corn is a classic and iconic, it’s good. You know what else is iconic? Dubra, and that is so far from good it’s amazing.
Honestly, I just think candy corn is bad. It tastes like a mix between wax, soap and a small bit of sugar. If that’s your thing, awesome, you do you. But I think I speak for most Americans (or people in general) when I say the combination is absolutely horrible.
Also, what the hell is candy corn supposed to be? Apparently, according to some internet sleuths, if you arrange multiple in a circle and then stack them up it makes something that resembles corn on the cob. That’s great and all except you know that would mean you should only eat the yellow part on the end. That just seems wasteful and a poor candy design.
And can we just talk about the colors? It looks so artificial it’s actually gross. The pastels combined with sickly artificial sweet smell should turn any sane person off.
It’s time for everyone to get on the right side of the debate. Candy corn is bad and deserves to go into the same place as circus peanuts and Peeps: the trash.