How to stop being single and get ready to mingle: Are they cheating on you?

 Jealousy isn’t something that can suddenly be dropped forever. It’s something that you and your partner will have to work on through continuous open communication. ( Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock )

Jealousy isn’t something that can suddenly be dropped forever. It’s something that you and your partner will have to work on through continuous open communication. (Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock)

Today’s world is one of low self-esteem and a tendency toward convoluted schemes, which mix together nicely for some very paranoid and over-the-top romantic partners. This means that half of us are crazy jealous and convinced we’re going to be cheated on or are already being cheated on. Now before you act crazy and use websites like “TruthFinder” or start reading through your partner’s texts, take a step back and try to find a less eccentric approach.

The first thing you need to do is make a concrete list of why you think they’re cheating on you and approach it rationally. If they’ve been talking a lot about one specific person, that might not mean anything. Chances are that your partner would keep this other person’s name on the down-low if they were cheating on you. If they’ve been hiding their phone from you when they get a text or if they get weird when you’re using their phone, that’s something suspicious. If they’re always cancelling plans with you or aren’t treating you like they used to, then that could also be a sign. If you’ve caught them lying to you, that could either be a sign of cheating or the start of a very serious conversation. If you can’t come up with a list besides the fact that they have friends of the sex they’re attracted to, then you’re probably just being paranoid.

If this doesn’t help alleviate your worries, go talk to a friend. Don’t talk to a friend that you’ve known to love drama in the past. Talk to your most level-headed friend and have them tell you what they think. If they agree with you and think you’re being cheated on, do not start making a ridiculously convoluted revenge plan. Continue treating the situation as an adult and collect your thoughts. There is one solution that will set things straight.

Talk to your partner. If you think they’re definitely cheating on you, if you feel insecure or if you want everything out in the open, then you need to talk to them. Make sure that when you talk to them you approach them with a calm voice. Don’t accuse them, just let them know how you feel. Jealousy is incredibly common, so they won’t hold it against you. If they start acting funny and make up something that seriously sounds like a lie, feel free to go at them with your crazy revenge scheme. But if they’re kind and tell you you’re the only person for them, let the paranoia drop away for now.

Jealousy isn’t something that can suddenly be dropped forever. It’s something that you and your partner will have to work on through continuous open communication. If you don’t feel like you can tell them where your head is at, then either you need to open up more or maybe this relationship isn’t working out. In any case, talking to your partner will help to establish trust and help make sure that neither of you are ever left feeling confused or scared about where things are going.

If you feel like they’re cheating on you, then talk to them; don’t just go at it alone.


Rebecca Maher is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu.