How to Stop Being Single and Get Ready to Mingle: Playing with psychology

Psychology is the study of the human mind and how it functions, and it might be the exact approach you’ve been needing to try to find a date. (Glenn Lascuña/Flickr Creative Commons)

Psychology is the study of the human mind and how it functions, and it might be the exact approach you’ve been needing to try to find a date.

Dr. Jack Schafer’s article “Get Anyone to Like You Instantly, Guaranteed” talked about an important group of body language that can help people delineate friend or foe. This group, which he called “The Big Three” consisted of flashing your eyebrow, tilting your head and smiling. The eyebrow flash is the initial signal that you can send out even from across a room. While it may look like a simple raising of the eyebrows, it acts as a form of acknowledgement that tells the other person that you don’t pose a threat. Tilting your head works on an even more subconscious level, since by exposing your carotid artery you make yourself more vulnerable. This shows the other person that you don’t pose a threat and that you trust them. The smile is the most obvious. When you smile at a person, you are showing them that you like them. Smiles are also fairly contagious, so you might get them to smile back at you.

Shana Lebowitz from Independent says that the best way to get people you’re interested in to open up to you is to make yourself more vulnerable. This can be done by occasionally revealing your flaws since, as the pratfall effect claims, people will like you better after you make a mistake. You can also try to emphasize the values you share with them to show they can relate to you. And, riskiest of all, you can share a secret with them. Knowing personal bits of information about you, especially information you don’t usually disclose, tends to make people feel closer to you. It can also encourage them to tell you a secret about themselves. While emotional openness can sometimes feel risky, it could definitely pave the way to a closer relationship.

Isabella Elwaw from Her Campus gave some advice that could work best in a party setting. She says that you should approach a person while wearing red, since red is associated with sexual energy. You can also try to slip their name into the conversation several times to show that you remember a personal aspect about them, and are interested in learning more. But the best trick of all is to copy them. If they cross their legs, wait thirty seconds or so and cross yours as well. If they drink from their cup, take a swig from yours. This will enforce a sense of similarity between the two of you and put them at ease.

These tricks shouldn’t replace the method of seduction you’re comfortable with. They actually work best when paired with your unique personality and a cheesy pick-up line or two.

If you have any questions or need any dating advice, feel free to contact me at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu. I’m positive other people are facing the same romantic problems as you, and would love to hear an answer.


Rebecca Maher is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu.