Roundtable: If UConn football played Alabama…

For the homecoming football game, the Huskies fell to UMass in a close game 22-17. Their next home game is on Nov. 10. Photo by Charlotte Lao, Photo Editor/The Daily Campus

UConn football fans most certainly do not want the team to play ‘Bama, but in this week’s roundtable, the DC Sports section debates what would happen if one of the most dominant college football teams took on one of the weakest.

Bryan Lambert, Staff Writer

They would lose. They would lose by a lot. I could get the start at middle linebacker for ‘Bama and I’m still confident we wouldn't let up a point. Nick Saban would toy with UConn’s defense like Buffalo Bill does with his victims before he makes a coat out of their skin in “The Silence of the Lambs.” They would lose so badly, we would have to go back and retroactively declare the South the winners of the Civil War.

UConn’s one and only hope would be that the Crimson Tide actually think the game is being played in Storrs and show up here 30 minutes before kickoff, because the thought of a prestigious sports school playing its college football games almost an hour away from campus is so insane to them.

Neil Simmons, Campus Correspondent

Does the NCAA have a mercy rule? Alabama vs. UConn would be like playing Madden with a team of 99 rated players at every position on the lowest difficulty. Alabama has been the best team in college football this season by a country mile, and the Huskies, well...we have a team?

Bama could hang 100 on us in their sleep and Saban would still be livid if we crossed midfield one time.

Matt Severino, Campus Correspondent

There really isn’t much to say about this one. It would be ugly. Alabama’s defense would probably have more yards than UConn’s offense and the defense might give up 2000 yards to Tua. The line would have to be somewhere in the 50s to try and get anyone dumb enough to bet on the Huskies. After watching Clemson paste 77 on Louisville, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Tide dropped 100, assuming all starters played the entire game.

Matt Barresi, Staff Writer

It would go poorly. Very poorly. I like to think of my local high school team taking on a bunch of seventh-graders and just steamrolling them at every spot. Pain everywhere.

Dylan Barrett, Campus Correspondent

They might shut down the football program right then and there. If they weren't too embarrassed to go on, they would be physically beaten down. The score just depends on how long Bama waits to put in their backups. On the bright side, people might actually want to watch a UConn football game for a change just to see how bad it could be. It's like a car crash; you hate to see it but you can’t look away.

Jorge Eckardt, Staff Writer

It would be bad. Really bad. UConn has the worst defense in college football, and Alabama has the best offense in college football. If they wanted to, I have no doubt Alabama could put up 200 points and keep UConn scoreless. They could start no offensive line and Tua would still avoid a sack and throw a touchdown. They could start the punter at quarterback and still cover the likely 75+ point spread. I bet they could even start the offense on defense and the defense on offense and still win the game. However what they would probably do is just build a nice sizeable lead and then stop trying to score. Final score prediction: 126-6 (UConn would score a late fourth quarter touchdown and miss the extra point).

Kevin Arnold, Staff Writer

I feel like this game would go as anyone would expect. Alabama and coach Saban are en route to another championship game appearance that they’ll likely win, with the Heisman favorite commanding the offense. Meanwhile, Randy Edsall has stated he doesn’t expect his current 1-8 Huskies to compete for a bowl game for another 4-5 seasons at least, while others are speculating whether UConn should even continue supporting a football program at all. The winningest program in college football against a program on the brink of extinction. Pretty clear UConn loses this one by more than a lot and it would likely be the final nail in the UConn football program’s coffin.

Danny Barletta , Campus Correspondent

I wasn’t sure what the most lopsided victory in college football history was, so I looked it up. Back in 1916, Georgia Tech beat Cumberland 222-0. Yes, you read that right. I’m not sure how that is even humanly possible, but apparently it happened. Unless UConn were to turn the ball over on every single offensive play (which isn’t completely out of the question), I don’t think Bama could put up that many points, nor do I think they’d keep playing their starters in order to get that many. But they could definitely get to half of that no matter who they play. My prediction: a 49-point first quarter with their starters, a 35 point second quarter with their backups, and another 31 points in the second half with their practice squad playing. UConn scores a touchdown in the 4th quarter and Randy Edsall elects to go for two because he gets a bonus for every successful two-point conversion (probably not but it sounds accurate). Final score: 115-8.