Letter to the Editor: West is best 6

To whom it may concern:

My name is Stephen Winchell (CLAS ‘08). Over the last semester, I have made it clear to you, the good people of UConn, that I lived in West. And I think it’s also clear to you that in many ways, West still lives in me. I am a West Man, true as steel.

My correspondence with Mr. Sean Rose (CLAS ‘09), the terror of Towers, has played out over the last three months for all of UConn to see. In my letters, I have spoken to you, the student body. I have spoken to the sniveling cowards of Towers, and I have spoken directly to Mr. Rose, the worst human being to ever live. But now, with this letter, I’d like to speak directly to my brethren, the good people of West.

It has come to my attention that Mr. Rose has pulled out his checkbook and the dogs of war have come running. I don’t know much - my sources are scrambling to keep up with Mr. Roses’ unhinged spending - but it seems like he plans to do something awful to our home. Bulldozers, wrecking balls, jackhammers and dynamite, all of these tools of destruction are aimed at our cherished dorms. There’s a lot of confusion in my network of spies and informants, but what’s clear is this; at best, Mr. Rose plans on leveling West in 2019. At worst? Well, let’s just say there may be a Towers Two built on West’s grave.

To my fellow Westheads: this is a frightening time. Our home is in jeopardy. I don’t know what Mr. Rose is will do next, but I know what each and every one of us will do. We will rise up, we will resist, and we will defend what is ours. There’s not enough blood money in the world to buy our can-do spirit and our West Pride.

So as you go into finals week, as you prepare to leave UConn for the winter break, cherish every moment you have in West. Savor these experiences. Hold that thing you cherish most - in this case, West - close. Dark days are coming my friends, and it never hurts to remember what you’ll be fighting for. West is who we are. West is Best!

Also, break a leg on finals everybody!

Thank you for your time,
Stephen Winchell
CLAS, 08