How to Stop Being Single and Get Ready to Mingle: Only the physical stuff

It’s important to remember that kissing is not simply a necessary step to sex, it’s a sensual activity of its own. If it's your first time kissing or your hundredth the best thing you can do is to drop all of your nerves and anxieties and let yourself enjoy it. (David Martyn Hunt/Flickr Creative Commons)

One of the most stressful parts of getting into either a new or first relationship is the physical stuff. For those who have never kissed before, starting a relationship can be anxiety inducing. For those entering new relationships, there’s the fear that the two of you will be physically incompatible. Here are some tips you can take to ensure that you, if not your partner, are prepared for your next makeout session.

There are many ways a person can fail as a kisser. Slobbery mouths will chafe their partner’s face and could even repulse them. Too much tongue can feel overwhelming, especially if that’s not what the partner is ready to do. This is especially true if you’re trying to lead with tongue before you even reach their mouth. An aggressive approach can also be alarming for a partner, especially if there’s no build up from a slower, more intimate kiss. Too much teeth can be a painful method of kissing. But worst of all is a boring kisser. If you never mix up your moves, the long honeymoon-phase makeout sessions will cease to exist before you know it.

Bustle recommends a few preparatory measures for the big kiss, including the use of Chapstick, an avoidance of smelly foods and always having mints on hand. They also give suggestions for the act itself. They recommend following your partners lead: If they speed up, slow down or introduce tongue, play along. But they also remind you that you can take the lead, too. They say to remember that kissing isn’t just about the lips. It’s important to hit up some of the other erogenous zones, especially their ear lobes, neck, shoulders and collar bone. Don’t be afraid to nibble their ears or plant a tasteful hickey on their neck.

Cosmopolitan gathered the kissing preferences of real people, and some of the responses were interesting. Several people described their love for slower kisses. They said that tongues should never be moving fast. Everything should be slow and intimate and accompanied by wandering hands. They said they love when their partner plays with their hair, strokes their neck or cheek or has their hands on their waist. Every movement needs to flow naturally, as if the two of you are having a conversation. Every ear nibble, head tilt or flex of the tongue needs to be matched or improved by you. Show your passion, but don’t scare them off.

It’s important to remember that kissing is not simply a necessary step to sex, it’s a sensual activity of its own. If it's your first time kissing or your hundredth the best thing you can do is to drop all of your nerves and anxieties and let yourself enjoy it.

If you have any questions or need any dating advice, feel free to contact me at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu. I’m positive other people are facing the same romantic problems as you, and would love to hear an answer.


Rebecca Maher is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu.