I really didn’t want to write about Congress again after exclusively writing about those chaotic three weeks where we didn’t have a Speaker and all the trials and tribulations of the dysfunctional family known as the House Republican Conference. There was a seemingly bizarre sense of normalcy and calm in the House, with the exception of Mike Johnson’s crusade against the separation of church and state in the form of his christofascist rhetoric. All was quiet on the shores of the Potomac River heading into Thanksgiving recess.
And then the House Ethics Committee did the equivalent of blasting an airhorn in a library when they released their long awaited report on embattled congressman and former drag queen George Santos on the morning of Nov. 16. The committee’s report found “substantial evidence” of numerous wrongdoings by Santos, the most notable of which being evidence that he “knowingly caused his campaign committee to file false or incomplete reports with the Federal Election Commission” and cited multiple instances of misuse of campaign funds.
Yowza.
Santos’ turbulent tenure in the House has been defined by the myriad of controversies that follow him around like Kari Lake vacuuming the ground Donald Trump walks on, most notably the numerous lies he told on the campaign trail to fool the voters of Nassau County. One of the many items on his long list of scandals related to alleged improper use of campaign money, which just so happens to be illegal. Reports earlier in the year highlighted a series of suspicious loans and dozens of donations all at $199.99.
The report released by the Ethics Committee details his misuse of campaign money and it’s far more shocking and ridiculous than some of Santos’ biggest haters like myself could even comprehend. I’m not even talking about simply not reporting things to the FEC: Santos blatantly used campaign funds to pay off his own credit card debt. This alone is disturbing enough, but the findings become infuriating when it addresses the mass amounts of purchases for his own benefit. The lowlights include thousands of dollars in travel expenses, thousands spent in Atlantic City, all of which he probably lost gambling, high priced cosmetics since he fancies himself so highly, $1,500 on Botox which is clearly not working and of course, if this list wasn’t wild enough, purchases on OnlyFans, the content subscription service that’s just a glorified porn site. There’s a litany more that I could include but these are the most egregious, confusing and downright petty examples. The list is so insane that it sounds like the plot of a Michael Moore documentary where Santos infiltrates the House to see how many scandals and illegal activities he can get away with.
What makes Santos’ actions even more frustrating is his response. He immediately took to X and posted a long Trump-style rant where he called the report “a disgusting political smear” and that he was “humbled yet again and reminded that I am human and I have flaws.” What he fails to understand is that normal congressmen who follow the law don’t spend thousands of dollars on Botox and porn sites. His painting of the report as a witch hunt shows a delusional pathological liar who fully believes he’s in the right and that he’s some sort of political martyr who did all this to “fight against the deep state” or some crap like that. The extremely high level of arrogance and smugness exuded by Santos defending his innocence even defies said qualities of Ted Cruz, which is an incredibly hard feat to achieve. The only good thing to come out of his rant was his declaration that he’s not running for reelection in 2024, though he insisted that he won’t resign.
But Santos doesn’t have to worry about resigning, as the House is expected to vote to expel him as soon as this week, a measure that will likely pass overwhelmingly as Santos’ support continues to crumble. He even acknowledged that the measure would likely pass and that his time in Congress is over soon in a rare show of hubris from a raging egomaniac. His colleagues on both sides of the aisle are likely ecstatic to see him go, especially after he accused unnamed members as hypocrital lobbyists. And while he isn’t necessarily wrong, the irony of him calling someone a hypocrite is simply astounding.
The report by the House Ethics Committee and the upcoming expulsion vote mark the end of the single-most controversial and chaotic term by any congressman in the 21st century and maybe ever. He won’t be in Congress for much longer, but he’ll still probably try to hog the limelight by becoming a regular guest on Fox News and starting his own OnlyFans account when he goes bankrupt again. So good riddance and au revoir Santos, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.