When surrounded by romantic comedies and novels full of true love, it’s hard not to let romance be one’s ideal regarding love. I’ve fallen into that trap myself, believing that only romantic love could complete that part of my life that was built on connections to others. But if college has taught me anything, it is the beauty and power of my friendships.
In some ways, our society greatly emphasizes romantic love and finding your forever partner. Most books and movies center on or at least include a love story. Even news media often follows the love lives of famous people rather than their friendships. Research into the culture of the U.S. has revealed happily-ever-afters to be greatly pursued by a plurality of people. Over the years, however, dating has become harder for many, and meeting people naturally in places like work has become a rarity. Over time, women especially gradually began to focus on goals outside of finding a partner such as furthering their careers. With this changing trend, the tide has begun to turn towards friendship rather than just romance. In a piece published in The Washington Post by Renee Yaseen, Yaseen found that 60% of her female survey respondents would choose friendships over romance. And when you consider that research has shown that a person’s friendships can “predict well-being and can protect against mental health issues such as depression and anxiety,” the power of friendship seems obvious. Moreover, even the presence of “weak tie relationships” — the ones you form by greeting your neighbors, coworkers, and peers — increases happiness.
It is still important to remember that, for some, friendship may not be enough. We all have needs that we cannot wholly rely on our friends to fulfill; moreover, one should always be careful about placing a burden meant to be carried by many on the shoulders of just one. But I think focusing on creating these lasting friendships, even simply through phone calls and spontaneous texts, is so important for our lives. It can become extremely difficult to manage personal relationships when we’re not geographically close to each other or our lives get busy, but maintaining these friendships is worth the extra effort.
Romantic love and relationships still have their place, as for many this is the relationship where they meet a person who understands them at a unique level, and they can begin a family with. But platonic friendships have their way of bringing fulfillment into one’s life. Indeed, the basis of every beautiful relationship is friendship. We can get so caught up in the things we don’t have, especially regarding romantic love, but I’ve found that when you look, you often have so much more than you would expect.
Looking closely at my friendships, I have found people to admire, moments of pure joy, and true acts of compassion. They have taught me what I should always expect from any relationship; people who I can call for last-minute favors and people who I can laugh with. This is so important to remember, especially when society can make you feel that not having romantic love means you’re missing some big piece of life. I will admit, I still believe in romantic love and think it is good to have various forms of love in one’s life. But now I know attachment can come from so many places, and that people have so many different kinds of love to give. And though they may be different, each type should be appreciated.