‘It takes a village:’ UConn Women’s Center hosts ‘Take Back the Night’  

Content warning: sexual assault and sexual, intimate partner and gender-based violence. 

On Wednesday, April 24, the University of Connecticut’s Women’s Center hosted their annual sexual assault survivor solidarity event, Take Back the Night, at the Student Union Ballroom. 

There were three tables set up including information from the UConn Women’s Center, the Sexual Assault Crisis Center of Eastern Connecticut, Inc. and an organization named Color Me Marigolds, which aims to support sexual assault and violence survivors of color, many of whom are raised to not speak up about their trauma. 

Campus advocate Lianne Marsella-Hofmann said, “The Sexual Assault Crisis Center of Eastern Connecticut is a private, non-profit agency. We are an off-campus resource that works heavily with UConn. We are able to work with Title IX offices to help survivors file Title IX reports.” 

Violence Against Women Prevention Program ambassadors Nala Davis and Katie Holmes officially began the event. Davis said “Being a survivor is a very isolating experience. We are here to provide survivors support.” Holmes then provided basic rules for the audience: What happens in the space stays in the space, be courteous and respectful of others and step out if you need to gather your thoughts and emotions due to the distressing subject material. 

Davis and Holmes then showed pictures of previous Take Back the Night events at UConn, pointing out one held by the Rainbow Center. They said that the UConn Women’s Center Take Back the Night can be traced back to 1979, which correlates with Take Back the Night’s origins in the 1970s. 

Davis and Holmes then introduced Salaha Kabir, a multicultural therapist, advocate, educator and founder of Color Me Marigolds.  

Kabir introduced what the organization was about before going into its history, saying “I founded Color Me Marigolds in 2017. I was still at UConn when it started.” She acknowledged the stigmatization and forced silence of South Asians from speaking up about subjects such as personal sexual assault with their families, later saying, “As you can imagine, in a conservative society, a religious and cultural center only teaches people the norms of the religion and culture.” In her work with college students of color, Kabir received pushback from their parents about what she tells them, but she says does it for the sake of the students, stating, “It’s always elders that teach children to build community by preserving everything how it is.” 

Kabir later reflected on the sexual assault disclosures she received, saying that many of the disclosures not only came from the students themselves but from close family and friends too. She later said, “It’s not easy to go to someone and say that ‘this is my story and I need support.’” Authority figures told Kabir not to interact with the disclosures and that the professionals would tell the family, but Kabir said the family would tell the survivor they shouldn’t talk about this, continuing the silencing. 

Kabir reported that when working with students of color as a campus advocate, many said they don’t have a safe space or someone to confide in. “I want to build that community, build that village” to prevent the silence of survivors, she said.  

Kabir then talked about Color Me Marigolds’ initiative of giving survivors a voice through art, helping them heal and express themselves. “We need to think about the survivor before taking any action,” said Kabir.  

She ended her speech by saying, “One of the biggest problems in our society is not having the ability to support ourselves and others in trauma.”  

There were then creative icebreaker activities where the audience could make, color or otherwise generate something while acquainting themselves with the organizations affiliated with the UConn Women’s Center such as In-power, Between Women, Women In STEM, the Men’s Project, Greeks Against Sexual Assault and the VAWPP. One of the icebreakers was sign-making, where the group made a collection of signs that, when put together, said “It Takes a Village,” the theme of the event. Another group painted flowers on a banner with “Take Back the Night” on it. 

Bonnie DiAngelis, the second speaker, is a current student and a part of the student organization Revolution Against Rape as the social media chair. She told the audience about her experience at the University of Massachusetts as a Connecticut resident, tearing up while talking about her insecurities and inability to make connections with others due to said insecurities. DiAngelis started taking the train home more and more as time progressed. “This wasn’t part of the plan. It’s too bad that I wasn’t focused on making friends,” she said. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. Sometimes you just have to survive.” She said she was a survivor of sexual assault, breaking up with her partner in a toxic relationship. DiAngelis wondered to herself, “Did it even happen? Was it my fault for not pushing back?” while confiding in a few people.  

DiAngelis transferred to UConn over the Summer. She reflected, “Everyone is lonely. Everyone is struggling. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone is scared of exposing their true selves to others.” She acknowledged the unconditional and necessity of love, saying “Not all relationships are built on the foundation of love. Make the time to show up for friends. Make the time to spend time with family, blood or chosen.” DiAngelis then likened brushing your own hair like how you would want someone else to brush it to the essence of self-love, saying that people rarely treat themselves like how they would treat others.  

She ended her speech by saying “Community is what helps us to speak out against sexual violence. My village is small but mighty. Don’t get comfortable where you’re at. There is always something to fight for. There are always opportunities to grow your village.” DiAngelis was met with a standing ovation. 

An open mic was then established where audience members could reflect on their experiences and what they learned. An audience member said that justice is what you make it to be, and that justice is subjective. Two other members shared poems about their experiences. 

There was then a march from the Student Union terrace around to the Castleman, Gentry, Rowe and McHugh buildings before ending back at the Student Union terrace. 

Davis and Holmes thanked the speakers, those who spoke at the open mic, the organizations that attended and the audience for attending. Holmes made the audience aware of the Women’s Center’s celebration of Denim Day on Friday, April 26, with a table at Fairfield Way accompanied by a photo booth and resources from the Women’s Center.