Content warning for depictions of mental illness and drug addiction.
Mac Miller was a rapper, singer, producer and songwriter who was very active in the 2010s. It could be said that he was a defining force of the decade with his creativity and artistic prowess. When his life ended tragically from an accidental overdose in 2018, shortly after the release of his album, “Swimming,” many people realized just how much the artist was suffering in terms of mental illness and addiction. It showed in his music, especially during and after 2013’s “Watching Movies with the Sound Off” following the poor reception of the preceding “Blue Slide Park.”
Unlike other estates who have capitalized on the artist’s death with cash-grabs and sloppily put together material that don’t do them justice, the Mac Miller estate has been nothing but respectful to his memory and ethos in their releasing of 2020’s “Circles,” previously released material on streaming services (such as the lauded “Faces” mixtape) and deluxe editions with short films to accompany the music. “Balloonerism,” however, was an album that Miller created between 2013 and 2014 to be listened to in the event of his death. As such, this album gets dark, depressing, introspective and, most of all, profoundly human. This review will only be discussing some highlights.
“Tambourine Dream” is a simple intro to “Balloonerism,” only consisting of a percussive instrument being played for 30 seconds. If you listen closer, it sounds like other items are moving due to the tambourine. The sound itself is reminiscent of traditional cultural practices that are nature oriented. A likely interpretation of this is how it’s a tacit reminder that Miller has returned to the source and the essence.
“DJ’s Chord Organ,” with DJ being the influential singer-songwriter Daniel Johnston since his chord organ was used on this song, is a slow burn, beginning humbly with someone saying what chords are being played on the chord organ. The song then builds up, with singers SZA and Thundercat repeating the lyric “Watch the world go ‘round,” providing a heavenly soundscape backed by the organ and bass. The track goes silent for a few seconds before SZA delivers an excellent verse, also being the only verse on the song. The lyric “Tell us the truth about it, cocaine is ruthless” is haunting, considering Miller’s vices at the time. This request to “tell the truth,” would culminate in the next song.
“Do You Have A Destination?” is a brutally honest and confessional rap track highlighting the decadence of being an artist. There is a common theme of Miller waking up from the juxtaposition of being high and famous, but the result is the same: becoming invisible. This could also be interpreted as Miller hallucinating. The lyrics “My thoughts is cynical, actions unpredictable” and “I gave my life to this shit, already killed myself” highlight his struggles with mental health as a famous and prolific musical artist in a very direct way. Considering how this song is on “Balloonerism,” it could be assumed that the “destination” Miller was thinking about is a place beyond the tangible world. Alternatively, the “destination” could be what Miller’s goals in this life are. Or maybe he’s asking this question to the audience so that they can make the most out of their lives.
“5 Dollar Pony Rides” is such a beautifully meaningful neo-soul song. It’s like a spiritual successor to Miller’s “Objects in the Mirror.” It may not have been the most representative single for the sound of “Balloonerism,” but thematically it’s like dipping your toes in the swimming pool that is mental illness and existentialism. Miller tries to support his love interest despite her likely depression or some other mental illness while also being depressed himself, as previously established.
The lyric “Girl, you wastin’ my time, and I am wastin’ your time, but that’s okay” is super comforting, probably also for others who also think that engaging with the people they care about is wasting their time. The lyric “Killin’ yourself like this, goin’ crazy, keepin’ all of these secrets, how is that livin’?” shows the importance of not hiding your struggles from the entire world and especially those that love you. They would likely appreciate your vulnerability because they don’t want you to suffer alone, and if not, the snakes are weeded out. This song is thematically reminiscent of industrial rock band Nine Inch Nails’ “We’re In This Together.”
Hardcore Mac Miller fans would recognize the feature of “Transformations:” a feature from Miller’s horrorcore rap persona named Delusional Thomas, who has other uncredited features on “Balloonerism.” This would give context for the weird pitch shift Miller’s voice has as well as the graphic and edgy lyrics. It’s similar to the producer Madlib’s rap character, Quasimoto, except less comical.
An instrument similar to the chord organ is played on “Manakins.” The sound of the chord organ is much more fitting in this song, but both this and “DJ’s Chord Organ” are very pleasant to listen to in their own ways. The organ mixed with the harp plucking and violin plucking is transcendent. The lyric “Education system, but I feel we only learn from change” is super moving, showing that those in the education system can develop their characters and identities to improve the world. It’s empowering.
“Rick’s Piano,” named after producer Rick Rubin, is a depressing acknowledgement of life, death and change. Miller’s humbleness as an artist is inspiring, choosing not to revel in fame and instead focus on his craft.
“Tomorrow Will Never Know,” likely the longest song in Miller’s discography at nearly 12 minutes, is a solemn reflection on wanting to redo the past with the knowledge we have today. Phone voicemails and children playing can be heard in the background.
Thank you, Mac, for sharing your art with the world and influencing people to get their lives together. I don’t know you personally, but I do know we lost a genius. Your loved ones miss you dearly.
Rating: 4.5/5
Amazing work chief!