When you think of the Costco Guys, the frequently covered duo in the Life section featuring father-and-son duo A.J. and Big Justice, their tongue-in-cheek short form content and songs come to mind. While their new song, “Break the BOOM! Meter” can’t be fully isolated from their other antics, it sees them experimenting with a real metal group, the AMH Band, for an enlightening song that is more or less about the same material as their other tracks. Regardless, these takes by the Life section may surprise you.
Ben Lassy, Life Editor (he/him/his):
My boom meter is shattered. Utterly demolished. All this, and I gave the boys’ last song a perfect score out of a gesture of festive kindness. This song feels like getting into the shower in the morning, expecting the water to be nice and hot; but no, it’s freezing, and two walking advertisements are singing in your ears.
It goes without saying that after an experience like that your day is ruined. That series of events is this song. The first few seconds of metal (not tarnished by the guys’ singing) is the hot water, everything else is the cold water.
I think for a truly perfect Costco Guys song, they need to get an outside band (like AMH) and then not sing on the track. Maybe they can be on the cover, but for the sake of good music, I think there have been enough novelty tracks from America’s favorite duo.
Rating 2.3/5
Noa Climor, Social Media Outreach Coordinator (she/her/hers):
Team … we might have a winner. The Costco Guys pulled this song off with none other than The Rizzler himself and a fascinating music video that really pulls you in. “Break the BOOM! Meter” is truly one of a kind, and what can I say — I’ve grown rather fond of these reviews with the rest of the Life team. While I can’t say that I will be listening to this again, I can say that I am more than happy to listen to other songs released by our dear pals, A.J. and Big Justice. This had a tune and wild lyrics and served as a fun distraction from classes.
Rating: 3/5 Booms
Maleena Muzio, Staff Writer (she/her/hers):
“Break the BOOM! Meter” sadly might be the Costco Guys’ best song yet. Coming back from their Christmas song, “Jingle BOOM!,” it’s definitely an improvement, which could not have been that hard to do. The Costco Guys decided to veer away from their pop/hip-hop sound — if you could call it that — and delve into metal, adding the AMH Band and The Rizzler to the mix.
Yes, The Rizzler is on the song and oddly enough, shreds the guitar. If you are into Imagine Dragons, I can imagine that you might actually like this song. Though, if you like literally anything else, you will probably hate it! All I can say is thank you to the Costco Guys for putting out a song that somewhat resembles music, instead of synthesized elf chants.
Rating: 2.5/5 Booms
James Fitzpatrick, Associate Life Editor (he/him/his):
This is incredible. I like to think my opinion holds some weight as an avid fan of metal, so the bass drops when the boys say “Boom” tickle my brain in the same way as slam death metal. The Costco Guys bring the boom more than they ever have before, and I fear they’re approaching dangerous power levels. The reference to double-chunk chocolate cookies and chicken bakes proves they haven’t forgotten their roots, yet the explosive chorus is largely performed by the frontman of the AMH Band. Although the band as a whole is a bit cookie-cutter, they give the Costco Guys a solid foundation to create their most impactful song yet
I’ve also heard rumors that The Rizzler’s rap verse has Zack de la Rocha sweating in his boots because his throne is in jeopardy. And let’s discuss the cinematography for a second. The ellipsoidal stage lights that shine on these musicians throughout much of the song help enhance the anthemic nature of this track as if I’m attending their eventual tour. Along with the copious automobiles shown throughout the video, the listener is reminded that A.J. and Big Justice are one-half of the greatest American family of all time. I will make sure to dedicate a section to this song in particular in my academic research paper about the positive correlation between content from the Costco Guys and increased sales at Costco.
Rating: 4/5 Booms
Well, well, well. The Costco Crew deliver the greatest left turn in music history, and the life section responds by going centrist. Really? They literally broke the boom meter with how much of a smashing hit this song is. This two minute slice of audio ecstasy deserves 5 BIG BOOMS for the Rizzler appearance alone, if not more. And that’s not even taking the music video into account, where the Rizzler defies expectations with a killer guitar solo that would make Hendrix dance in his grave.
Some of the criticisms and backhanded compliments directed towards the Costco Guys are so abhorrent that The Daily Campus will be lucky to avoid a defamation lawsuit. The only conceivable improvement is removing AMH altogether, letting the Costco Crew take full control of the instruments and vocals. When I saw the exact opposite opinion expressed in this review, I accidentally punched a hole in the nearest window out of rage. The pain from my fist was nothing compared to the mental damage the subsequent reviews had on me. While I’m glad the final review was optimistic, the score left more to be desired (one more BIG BOOM, to be exact).
I give this review 0.5 BIG BOOMS!!!