Conan Gray’s debut album, “Kid Krow,” was released on March 20, 2020, and to celebrate — and make fans cry — Gray released “Kid Krow: Decomposed.” This five-year anniversary version of the album now features “Bed Rest,” a vaulted track from the “Kid Krow” era, “Heather (Lost Verse Version) [Live]” and “The Cut That Always Bleeds [Live],” in addition to the rest of the songs.
Gray is my sister’s favorite artist and one of the singers I admire most. His music, filled with unfiltered honesty and powerful lyricism, has remained on my playlist for years and will never disappear.
I find that “Bed Rest” was the addition I was always looking for. “You know that there’s a lot of things that I wish that I didn’t do / You know that there’s a side of me that I wish you never knew” Gray sings. His lyrics cut deep, and this song starts with sorrow and regret, a common theme, but one Gray does exceptionally well.
“And although I’m crazy, maybe just this time / You could try to see my sweeter side / I promise after, a little while longer / I’ll come back to my senses / But now I need some bed rest,” he sings. Gray is honest and clear about his state of mind, begging for understanding—not mercy.
The rest of the song follows a trail of turmoil about navigating a relationship in which self-destructive behavior and low self-esteem surround both you and the person you are with, taking you away from the rest of the world.
“But now I need some bed rest / To mend from all our trainwrecks / Our love was all too reckless / But now I need some bed rest / Forget your name and address / We almost ended up dead,” he continues. This is the rest and healing needed from a tumultuous and straining relationship where both Gray and the person hurt each other. It was so harmful that, in the end, they were both worse than they were before entering it.
The song is followed by one of my favorites from the album, “The Cut That Always Bleeds,” which is now on the album twice. I enjoyed the live version more; I’ve never seen Gray perform live, but hearing the crowd and the energy they gave him immersed me in his show.
With “Heather,” Gray shares a version of the song that had yet to be released on streaming services but was shared in a TikTok in 2023 in honor of the third of December, which, for Gray fans, is the unofficial-official Heather day.
The third verse goes like this: “I want her hair, want to steal what she wears / Wanna smell like her perfume, do everything like her / ‘Cause isn’t she perfect? The lipstick on her lips / I wish I could kiss her to know why you love her.”
“Heather” is about unrequited love and a person who is so perfect that you are extremely jealous and slightly shocked at where those feelings are coming from. I think that adding the “lost verse” drives the point home even more.
You so desperately want to be like this person, and there is no reason for your feelings. Every thought feels like an effort to override reactions that you know are coming from a place of envy. “Heather” is just so perfect, beautiful and bright that it feels like there’s no point because you will never compete.
You shouldn’t have to! What is so brilliant about Gray’s songs is that, even though you might feel guilty for feeling some of these emotions, he makes it clear that there shouldn’t be any guilt for simply feeling.
We’re human beings, and our emotions are complex and not always pretty. The songs in “Kid Krow” remind you that there’s no reason to feel bad. There are so many people in the same exact spot as you.
This album is not entirely new. In fact, only one of the songs had yet to be released. However, the nostalgia and celebration of an album so great and moving drove me to want to review it.
“Bed Rest” was beautifully immersive and the entire album is filled with melancholy yearning that breaks my heart no matter how many times I listen to it.
Rating: 5/5