In the Life section, we have many traditions and running gags. One of them is doing roundtable reviews of one of our favorites (or least favorite, depending on who you ask) TikTokers and musical sensations, the Costco Guys. And it just so happens that right as we came back to campus, the Big Boom Boys dropped their latest song, “Big Fat Meatballs.” In keeping with tradition, we asked our writers to share their thoughts, and man, they had a lot to say.
Dan Stark, Life Editor:
I’ve been a steadfast defender of the Costco Guys since they shot to fame last year. I’ve stood by songs like “LeBron’s a BOOM!” and “Break the BOOM! Meter” and supported all of their endeavors. They’ve built a truly wonderful brand that I’ve always enjoyed.
But they’ve officially jumped the shark with “Big Fat Meatballs.”
The backing track sounds like an AI-generated rip-off of “T.N.T.” by AC/DC, but I’ve come to expect that from their music at this point. The lyrics are by far the cringiest and forced of any song they’ve ever done – and that’s including the disaster that was “Jingle BOOM!” Other than A.J. yelling “BOOM!” at the end, there’s not a single reference to the word that they’ve built their career on. They’ve lost the plot.
The biggest crime of “Big Fat Meatballs” is that even though they used The Rizzler – the Shirley Temple of Gen Z – in the song’s music video, he doesn’t sing a single lyric. Unacceptable.
The 15 minutes of fame are gone. Go back to Boca Raton.
This gets 5 Big Dooms.
Bonnibel Lilith Rampertab, Staff Writer:
Do you remember the Cartoon Network kids show “Steven Universe?” I imagine the worst-case timeline scenario for the titular Steven and his father, Greg Universe, to be the Costco Guys.
Big Justice genuinely sounds like Steven at the beginning of the show, and I can’t unhear it. He also acknowledges The Rizzler, which could be jarring to any enthusiasts out there.
What cannot be excused is the non-inclusive food choice of giant meatballs with “pork, beef and veal.” The meatballs have flesh forbidden to eat in at least three different religions, and yet they’re “for everyone.”
The Christian atmosphere of the song is truly American. You can tell that they’re American with how they push their meatballs onto you and the lyric “for our daughter and son,” forgetting about other gender identities that don’t conform to the binary.
Mid/5
You can’t escape the boom. The boom will find you.
Sebastian Munera, Campus Correspondent:
Just in time for the fall semester, A.J. and Big Justice, known online as the Costco Guys, continue their venture in music and artistry with “Big Fat Meatballs.” Now, if you have not been following A.J. and Big Justice over their musical career, you might not be aware that this track actually marks an ambitious step forward for them, as it’s their first song to not be BOOM™ -centric. Does this big, bold step pay off? Well…
Being free of the restrictive BOOM™ theming, they take full advantage to show off their storytelling skills. The lyrics are so tightly focused on themes of family, community, pride, unity and how big fat meatballs can provide all these things. However, I will not deny that the vague theming of the BOOM™ provided a sense of magic in their past songs (e.g. “Believe in the Boom” and “Still Bringin’ It”) that is not as present here.
Medium Hefty Meatball/5
Maleena Muzio, Staff Writer:
Oh, Costco Guys, how I have missed you… or so I thought.
“Big Fat Meatballs,” the group’s latest single, is here. To be honest, the song is actually not that bad, but I do not think it is the Italian American anthem that the Costco Guys may have thought they were releasing.
I think what really threw me off were the visuals in the music video. I should have come away with a burning hunger for fat juicy meatballs, but instead, I could not stop replaying the image of The Rizzler mewing in my mind. The message seemed a little inauthentic, too. I am not sure if I believe that A.J. makes those meatballs for his wife and kids like he claims in the lyrics. Next time, I would like a tutorial (or some action shots).
1/5 booms
(prove to me those meatballs were not purchased at Costco and I will add 2 booms)
Thaddeus Sawyer, Campus Correspondent:
Forget the lyrics for a second: “Big Fat Meatballs” has the worst instrumental track I’ve heard in a long time. The same digitally sequenced drums that have become a staple of the Costco Guys’ sound are just as present and as void of reverb as ever. The guitars leave much to be desired, as the intro sounds as if they took “Rock You Like a Hurricane” by Scorpions and decided to downgrade the hurricane from a category five storm to a gentle breeze.
Beyond that, I honestly have nothing else to say about “Big Fat Meatballs.” Every bit of lyrical content leaves my head within 10 seconds of Big AJ’s spoken word outro previewing his weekend dinner plans. I’ve listened to the song so much trying to review it, that I wouldn’t be surprised if it shows up on my “On Repeat” playlist on Spotify. If their goal was to create a song with replay value, the Costco Guys succeeded.
1 mystery meat meatball/5
Ayyan Tamjeed, Staff Writer:
I’m afraid they’re losing the fastball, guys.
As the autumn leaves are starting to fall and the sky gets just that little bit bleaker, the Costco Guys have triumphantly returned with “Big Fat Meatballs” to lift everyone’s moods ahead of the winter season! Or so I thought.
The guys do bring a good amount of energy to this song, but they never change it up. A.J. and Big Justice just sing in this same droll, monotone tone — they’re sleepwalking throughout this whole song. The music behind is also taking a good, hearty nap as well, which sucks because in the FaZe Rug remix, there was some oomph with those blaring guitars and booming kick drums. Now they’re buried in the mix, for what? A.J. is droning on about how the meatballs are made with pork, beef, and veal? If I could actually hear the music, I would rate this more highly. I expected better from you, Costco Guys.
1 big fat meatball/5
You are all out of your minds.
I would be remiss to call “Big Fat Meatballs” the Costco Guys’ greatest song. For one, The Rizzler, to my horror, is not given any time to deliver his pensive wisdom. A shame. And why is Cousin Angelo still receiving cameos? He pales in comparison to every other member of the eclectic crew. He’s distracting.
But seriously, not one of you could credit how witty or hilarious this hook is? Its catchiness demands the four-minute length, the most time we’ve been granted with the genre-bending duo on a track thus far.
The complaints about the Costco Guys’ lyrics are tiresome. Yes, this isn’t a song all about BOOMS! Get over it and grow up. The duo, bored of being the only reliable hitmakers around, continue to take substantial risks that flex their sonic and lyrical versatility. Oh, to have that daring approach to personal growth! Seeing A.J. & Big Justice embracing their Italian heritage with pride brought me to tears.
While I can appreciate the nuanced critical approaches presented by these writers and am ecstatic to see them finally giving The Rizzler the respect he deserves, these scores are egregiously low. What a rough way to start this academic year, esteemed Life Section. Do better.