Coercion is one of those things that can be considered a gray area for many people. In this day and age when everyone throws around terms like “narcissist” and “gaslighting” without regard for their clinical significance, it can be hard to discern what these behaviors actually are. In an effort to better learn how UConn students perceive coercion, this semester I developed and sent out a survey as part of my internship, asking students on campus what they think coercion is. Specifically, I provided a definition and then asked them to use brief examples of what they think might represent coercive language. I read responses like “You’d do this if you love me,” “I’ll break up with you if you don’t do this” and “Nobody could ever love you as much as I do.”. The results increased my confidence that UConn students understand and recognize sexually coercive language, but I noticed a lack in mentions of coercion in settings other than romantic relationships.
Coercion is defined as an act, statement or behavior that inflicts an unnecessary amount of pressure or influence in order to change another’s decision. It is clear from the survey results that many of us automatically think of coercion from a sexual lens. How could we not? When we think of unhealthy pressure or influence, it’s natural for us to immediately jump to the assumption that it is happening in a sexual or intimate manner. The fact of the matter is coercion can present itself in various forms, not just sexual ones. Coercion is present in academia and in career fields, and can also present itself in relationships with friends and family. Verbal manipulations, such as gaslighting and love-bombing, are indeed forms of coercion, just as the dismissal of physical boundaries and making sudden moves on another person are. However, coercive tactics can also include isolation, such as cutting someone off from their external support systems, intensifying vulnerability and forcing the victim to develop a reliance on the abuser. Sometimes coercion involves activity monitoring and unhealthy surveillance of another person, as well as removing sources of autonomy and discouraging a partner from engaging in hobbies, so that the individual loses touch with their identity and the ability to decide which things truly matter to them.
When sifting through survey responses, most if not all of the examples given were of sexual coercion. While awareness of sexual coercion is vitally important, it’s just as important for college students to understand that coercion is multi-faceted and can show itself in other settings. A coworker telling you that you have to take advantage of an opportunity the boss has just extended to you and do something just because “it’s good for you” while you are visibly uncomfortable or uneasy is coercive. A family member threatening to cut someone off financially because they don’t live up to their expectations is coercive. A professor saying to you “You know how much I’ve done to help your academic career — don’t disappoint me” is inflicting an unnecessary amount of pressure on the student, and is also, you guessed it, coercive. Not only is it important for students to be able to recognize coercion now, but it’s essential to develop an understanding of it so they can look out for it when they enter the job force and their respective career fields. The goal is to help students understand how coercion might already be present in their lives, so that when faced with coercion in intimate situations, they are better equipped to recognize it and respond to it.
As a part of this investigative process, I also had the opportunity to interview Cassy Setzler. Cassy works at Student Health and Wellness (SHaW) as the program manager for sexual well-being and peer education initiatives, as well as head of the Sexperts. In our discussion, she disclosed to me some memories from jobs she held as a teen and young adult prior to coming to UConn. She stated that it was “really important for me to practice saying no in situations where I felt like my employer was pressuring me to do things that I didn’t want to do. It can be anything from ‘Well I need you to work tonight’ and ‘If you really cared about this place, then you would pick up this shift.’” She really drove home the power of being able to say “no” and set firm boundaries with others, while further enforcing the idea that coercion can take place outside of sexual situations.
74% of survey takers said that using their best judgment, themselves or someone they know has been the receiver of coercion or coercive language. 21% answered “maybe” to the same question. Regardless of whether or not coercion takes place in a sexual manner, it has the capacity to bring about the same amount of emotional, psychological, social and sometimes physical harm to the individual. If you or someone you know has experienced coercion, then there are various resources available on campus that serve as a mode of support. Protect Our Pack, under the Dean of Students Office, is UConn’s official bystander intervention program. They offer multiple services including casual peer-to-peer conversations called Ask the Pack, as well as helpful resources regarding topics like coercion, hazing, gender-based violence, Title IX and reporting. SHaW offers free and confidential sexual and reproductive health services, as well as various therapy options for students.
The hope is that we can work to further develop students’ understanding of coercion. The power coercion can have on an individual is, no doubt, extremely harmful regardless of its situational context. Opening up honest dialogues about this topic helps us to conclude that coercion undermines consent no matter the setting — sexual, academic, personal and professional.