Since childhood, we have been raised to understand the value of uplifting our community. We
are taught to “love thy neighbor,” to “walk in someone else’s shoes,” to be kind and to help others in peril. All of these teachings seem elementary, lessons learned from fables and fairytales in our youth. To be a good person is to care for those around you. So why is it so completely impossible to reach out when the person who needs support is yourself?
In the times where we are struggling individually, it is incredibly easy to isolate ourselves – even knowing that those around us may be able to or even want to help us. Knowing that it is often so simple yet so rewarding to feel that a burden is not carried alone, it sounds almost ridiculous to not reach out when times get tougher. But as much as we are taught the values of charity and giving, we are more unconsciously instilled with the belief that we must not accept this care ourselves.
This double standard creeps through the cracks of many of society’s collective issues, an unspoken yet silently understood pact to be a good neighbor but remain self-sufficient through it all. The stigma around our struggles, especially the more invisible ones such as mental health, pushes the narrative that it is less complicated to stay silent. It is more palatable to appear invulnerable, more respected to seem untouched by worry. Especially in the United States, this tendency to suffer alone is only amplified by the strong American value of independence. Being self-reliant is an admirable trait, a pillar of success which aligns with the ambitions of America’s colonial predecessors and lives on to this day as the “American Dream.” It is the expectation that success is to be entirely self-made, and thus, our individual problems must be resolved alone.
The strength of this resistance of community only grows stronger as values associated with traditional masculinity are brought into the mix. For many cultures and groups, especially in more conservative circles, stoicism is a highly prized trait. To be able to view challenges as an inevitability that all must confront on their own is seen as a form of high strength and dominance, especially when successful. The more modern affinity to nonchalance is closely intertwined – shrugging off the burden of fear or hardship without a reaction is a powerful look, but to glorify these values is to sacrifice all that makes us human.
The fact of the matter is that connecting with our community is a survival necessity. Socialization is a critical resource for our well-being – the reason we are so drawn to connect with others is because it is a necessity for health and wellness. It is far easier to push through personal struggles knowing that there is a vast support system to guide us through these times.
Even more than this, though, the community itself is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to confronting more systemic and widespread issues. In such a polarized and disconnected world, truly interlinked communities are few and far between. When we go with the grain in the subtle yet strong push for isolation as a token of resilience, we are in actuality not demonstrating strength – we are exposing a vast weakness. The necessity of community is not derived solely from the benefit of individuals, but even more from the position of the group as a whole.
The phrase “strength in numbers” rings most true here; there truly is more force behind a large group, especially in times of widespread hardship. We are our weakest in periods of both mass struggle and widespread hopelessness, especially when separated. Individual perspectives are much more malleable by nature, and it is far easier to sway a single mind compared to many. Those with the most power know this weakness, and as has surely been demonstrated time and time again, they are willing to weaponize this against the masses.
Now, more than ever, it is crucial that we fortify our communities. These communities can be cultivated anywhere: organizations, schools, neighborhoods, towns and on an even greater scale. These groups may appear miniscule, but they are unmatched in power. On a personal level, they offer a positive network to bear the burden of the toughest days together. And on a greater scale, they grant the autonomy to fight for greater change and improved conditions.
Being part of a community is a simple concept. It means to share successes and griefs, to help others and be helped when the day comes when the struggle is too daunting to face alone. Yet communities are perhaps one of the most important facets of society. Through these small yet mighty links