The 2026 Winter Olympics have begun in Milano Cortina. As with every go around of this four-year cycle, we have reached a fresh round of the general public re-finding out exactly what is included in the winter games. What is “Skeleton”? What is “Luge”? How exactly do people get into these sports and how does one become the best in the world? No one knows. At least, we at the Opinion Section do not. However, this week, our writers are looking to find, as they answer the question: With only four years to prepare, in what sport do you think you could realistically make it into the Olympics?
Colin Hamilton, Staff Writer: Given four years to prepare, I would immediately begin training for ski jumping. Despite the rather daunting reality of throwing oneself off a ramp at high speeds in an Icarian attempt at human flight, I am confident I could complete the task. Even in the face of the recent cheating scandal of “penisgate” (probably worth a Google), I would proudly strap on a pair of skis and send myself flying haphazardly into the air to represent my country in a time-honored tradition of aerial chicken. Even if I could guarantee no real element of grace, there’s no rule saying I have to stick the landing. After all, I realistically would only need to land once, one way or another. How bad could it be?
Gianna Cassino, Weekly Columnist: Completely going off vibes, I would lock in on figure skating. The U.S. women’s figure skating team is currently dominating both my brain and my TikTok feed, so what can I say, I’m inspired. I’ve always wanted to get into figure skating, so I feel that my passion would carry me through four years of training. Am I aware that figure skating is extremely difficult because it’s ice skating and dance and acrobatics? Yes. Do I have some experience in those areas separately and a delusional amount of confidence in myself? Also yes.
Tamara Segal, Staff Writer: Despite the fear that I would crash into a wall and literally die, I think I would have to go for the skeleton. A human torpedo is exactly what I want to be when I grow up, because nothing says aura like speeding down an icy slide, headfirst and on your belly. Like, that’s objectively awesome. Do I really have to explain myself further?
Amber Greene, Campus Correspondent: From two weeks of watching professional athletes do it, and my adequate ability to move on ice skates I think I can do speed skating in 2030. If you paired me up with an intense trainer that had me skate like my life depended on it, I could totally make it to qualify for the Olympics. Still, by the time it came around, I would probably get insanely humbled by the daunting cheers of an Olympic sized skating arena and being paired against someone who has been training for life — and probably slip and fall when it came time to compete.
Ayden Mirabella, Contributor: Given four years, put me down for curling. If the Canadians can get away with cheating in the sport, why can’t I? Also, those stones weigh a good amount so I could always slide them into my opponents, so they forfeit on injury. Additionally, I think it would be fun just to slide up and down the ice, even if it is a violation of the rules. I could also have fun with those mops, or whatever they call them. Imagine how fun it would be using the mops as swords to fight with your fellow moppers on the ice. Truly, this is the spirit of the Olympics.