“Lazy Boy On Campus” is a weekly column on how to embrace laziness while maintaining a jam packed schedule. Easy, right?
You know what’s both the best and worst part about senior year? It’s not the bar, though that ranks pretty high on the list. The best and worst part of senior year is a little illness that seems to only affect students: an illness known as senioritis.
I’m sure the freshmen reading this are very familiar with the concept, seeing as they just went through it last year, but for those you who are a little rusty on the topic, let me catch you up. According to the Urban Dictionary (it’s the most credible source I could find on short notice), senioritis is “a crippling disease that strikes high school seniors. Symptoms include: laziness, an over-excessive wearing of track pants, old athletic shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts and sweatshirts. Also features a lack of studying, repeated absences and a generally dismissive attitude.”
In other words, senioritis is basically being lazy but on a ridiculous amount of steroids. And you know what? Sometimes senioritis is a great thing. It’s the thing that keeps you from going to Sigma-so-and-so’s party this weekend (an issue for another time) and instead forces you to sleep in.
Right now, however, is the worst time to catch senioritis at least for people in my boat. Why, you ask? Because for people like me, right now is midterms and career fair season. It’s not an overstatement to say that my life literally hangs in the balance of these next few weeks.
As we’ve all concluded from my previous columns, I’m lazy AF. That doesn’t bode well for midterms. I mean sure, I could technically fail my exams. Failing is basically a rite of passage in college, except for one small problem: I’m way past the rite of passage portion of my life. If I fail an exam, I run the risk of not graduating. Luckily, I can study my mind out, get approximately five hours of sleep, and then just roll out of looking like s**t and run to my exam. After all, senioritis and me being lazy means the only effort put into looking presentable is a shower.
Except its career fair season, and I need a job. So I’m forced to actually put some time into getting ready, which includes remembering how to tie a tie even though I’ve been doing it since like ninth grade.
So this time of year is a complete nightmare for me. I look disheveled 50 percent of the time, well put together the other 50 percent of the time and completely frazzled 100 percent of the time.
In terms of solutions, it’s basically consuming enough coffee that I’m almost totally amped, but not enough that I am completely bouncing off the walls. But in all honesty, the real solution is to not give up just yet, because it will get better.
That may sound dumb and clichéd but it’s the only thing that is ever going to get any of us through this long, long bout with senioritis. We can’t succumb to the extra laziness that comes with the fatal disease. There is a time for giving in and that’s the weekend. Catch senioritis during the times after your exams and after those career fairs.
My friend and fellow writer, Christopher McDermott would probably end this kind of piece with “trust me, I got this.” But at this point, I can’t guarantee that any of us have got this. Especially since the last time any of us had senioritis, the stakes were much lower.
So instead of some catchy sign-off line, I’ll leave you guys with this. After your exam(s) and career fairs you can fall asleep in whatever nice outfit you worked so hard to prepare for this day. You’ve earned it.
Amar Batra is a senior staff photographer and opinion’s staff columnist for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email firstname.lastname@example.org.