There are important questions that need to be answered. Here are three of them.
Best Drumroll of All Time?
Answer: Iron Maiden – “Run to the Hills”
I’ll start with some layup lines to get the ball rolling. Iron Maiden was a British heavy metal group from the 1980’s and their drummer was convicted of murder after what he did to the drum set on “Run to the Hills.” To give you an idea of this group’s aesthetic, I would say it is “This is Spinal Tap” combined with Bruce Dickinson – yes, THE Bruce Dickinson. The group’s magnum opus, “Run to the Hills,” has a pre-chorus which features a drumroll that will make you want to major in engineering, build a time machine, travel back to 1982 and experience this song live in its element because it was probably wild.
Honorable Mention: Joker and the Thief – “Wolfmother”
Best Kanye West Era, aughts or 2010’s?
Let’s get the tale of the tape:
– Aughts Kanye:
– College Dropout (2004)
– Late Registration (2005)
– Graduation (2007)
– 808s and Heartbreak (2008)
– 2010’s Kanye:
– My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)
– Watch the Throne (2011)
– Yeezus (2013)
– Life of Pablo (2016)
The backpacker versus the more looney lunatic. Post 808’s Kanye has been more unhinged, enigmatic and controversial, and his music has responded in the same way. Something like Yeezus, when compared to his earlier albums, looks like an alien assumed Kanye’s body and brought him into the year 3212. The first half of his career was Kanye doing what Kanye does best. He did not stray from his wheelhouse in soul-sampled beats and nicely presented hip-hop. Post 808’s Kanye had no regard, pushed the boundaries and separated himself from his earlier self.
Best Hi-Hat in a Song?
Answer: Lil’ Uzi Vert – “XO TOUR Llif3” & Jimi Hendrix – “Voodoo Child” (Slight Return)
The first tie of Music Superlatives, what a moment. These are hi-hats coming from completely different places. “XO’s” hi-hats are aggressive. They have that really fast double hit right before the bass and it is absolutely fantastic. Thank God Jimi slightly returned “Voodoo Child” because my goodness is this a great song. The opening guitar riff is magical and it all culminates in the hi-hat. It’s the kind of opening to a song that if the rest of the song was just guys banging pots and pans together I would still like the song. It’s just that good.
Most Insanely Conspiratorial Verse in Hip hop History?
Answer (in a huge upset): “End of Days” (feat. Block McCloud) – Vinnie Paz (2nd Verse)
The fact that Immortal Technique did not win this debate speaks volumes as to how crazy this verse is. Immortal Technique is in second 90th place on this list but Paz beats him out here. Let’s go through a couple of lines from the verse to give you the full tin-foil hat experience.
“Whoever built the pyramids had knowledge of electrical power
And you know that that’s the information that they suppress and devour”
Paz comes out guns blazing. He is not going with the old “Pyramids were made by aliens” line of thought. No, that’s too much for Paz. He is, however, convinced that the Egyptians had knowledge of electrical power, which is the next logical step back after aliens are off the table. He is clearly sleeping on the power of slave labor. Also, why would anyone suppress information about Egyptians and their building practices? That was like 8000 years ago, ballpark.
“Who you think the mother****ers that crashed in the tower?
Who you think that made it turn into ash in an hour?”
If you thought there wouldn’t be a 9/11 line in here, you are out of your mind.
“Yeah, the ones that poison all the food you consume
The ones that never told you about Mount Vesuvius Tomb”
There is a conspiracy theory that there is a tomb with Jesus’ remains at the base of Mount Vesuvius. There is a documentary about it on the Discovery Channel, which was executive produced by James Cameron. Every part of that last sentence will tell you that this theory is a little suspect.
“Do y’all know about Bohemian Grove?
How the world leader sacrificing children in robes?”
According to Wikipedia, Bohemian Grove is a San Francisco art-club that hosts a get-together of international power-players each year. Politicians, business leaders, media members and entertainers gather to improve themselves and probably have crazy “Eyes Wide Shut” orgies. The fact that this is a real thing is wild. Where he is getting this human sacrifice mumbo jumbo is anyone’s guess.
“Lucifer is God in the public school system
I suggest you open up your ears and you listen”
I must have slept through the Lucifer lecture in high school.
Teddy Craven is a campus correspondent for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.