Mercury will be entering Sagittarius, and Venus will be entering Libra on Halloween, which will make for an interesting holiday. Venus is still in retrograde, moving backwards to cast a somewhat contrary influence. The sun still lies in Scorpio, so happy birthday to all the Scorpios with birthdays this week.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Tensions are high this week, and as an Aries this doesn’t normally sit well with you. Make sure you don’t get out of control, even when people are being really stupid and annoying. Don’t get all fired up; being patient and staying calm goes against your nature but will solve your problems quicker in the long run.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): You’re going to have to make an important decision this week. Your friends can give you all kinds of advice, and your mom will try to tell you what to do, but only you can decide what fits your values best.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): When the inventor of the Frisbee died, his family had his body cremated. Then they made a Frisbee with his ashes. Keep in mind this week that success looks different for everybody, so don’t judge yourself by anybody else’s standards. Maybe success for your friend means playing ultimate from the grave. That’s okay, but you don’t also have to offer yourself up for an eternity of Kanjam.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Your ruling “planet,” the moon, is passing quickly through your sign this week. Your emotions may be heightened a little on Tuesday and Wednesday. Seeing somebody step on a worm might put you into a depression for an hour while finding your missing hair tie will have you dancing around your dorm.
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): Pay attention to your complaining this week. Is 50 percent of your conversation just different ways to say “I’m so tired,” “I’m hungry,” “It’s so cold outside” and “I have too much homework?” These are the mantras of the modern college student. We all know these things; they go without saying. Instead of consuming yourself with complaints, accept these things and move on to more interesting thoughts and conversations.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): A costume is like an alter ego. It works for Peter Parker and Hilary Duff in “A Cinderella Story.” With Halloween coming through, costume yourself with an attitude you wish you had but never act upon.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Confrontation is undeniably almost always awkward. For some reason it works way better on TV than in real life. That being said, it’s important to be honest with yourself and the people around you this week. All those issues that are slowly festering will all go away if you just own up to everything and rap it out.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Everybody always associates your sign with sex. Probably in part because the body part of Scorpio is the genitals. Congrats. However, even though it’s Scorpio season right now doesn’t guarantee you’re going to get lucky. That being said, it also doesn’t hurt. Either way, your love life is going to be especially eventful this week.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): We can clap for failure. You can always get something out of an epic fail. You can learn to be better at something, challenge yourself to think in new ways, discover how much you really want something or just laugh a little. You’re gonna fail this week. Applaud.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): It’s a week of near misses, whether that means just missing the bus or the bus just missing you. Be on the lookout for these lucky or unlucky occurrences.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Banging your head into a wall only burns 150 calories per hour. While you’re despairing this week, you’ll be better off going for a walk (160 calories per hour), doing yoga (nearly 500 calories per hour) or sleeping (only around 50 calories per hour, but much less painful).
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20): Be careful not to lose stuff this week. Keys, IDs, chapsticks, sweaters, notebooks, headphones, socks, backpacks – all are susceptible this week. Pay attention to where you put your stuff down and make sure your zippers are all zipped.
Alex Houdeshell is a campus correspondent/staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.