To whom it may concern,
My name is Sean Rose (CLAS ‘09), and I must say, I read the previous letter written by Stephen Winchell (CLAS ‘08) with a sense of confusion. For a moment, it seemed as if Mr. Winchell had accidentally mailed in a rough draft of one of his many bizarre, poorly written fiction novels. I mean, when you get rejected by every reputable publisher out there, I guess mailing it into the Daily Campus would be your next best option! Why not!
But upon close examination, an even darker truth emerged: this was, in fact, Mr. Winchell’s sincere response to my previous letter. The man was apparently so badly eviscerated he couldn’t reply with anything but a bunch of whiny lies. I was hoping my last letter would force him to at least take a stab at something coherent, but of course I was expecting too much from a former West resident. My bad!
I will not respond to Mr. Winchell’s ludicrous, mean-spirited lies about chauffeurs and caviar and buying grades. I guess when you never wash your clothes, eat nothing but Flamin Hot Cheetos, and sleep through almost all of your classes, you’ll assume pretty much anyone with a modicum of hygiene as being “rich enough to buy anything [they] want.”
No, Mr. Winchell, its simply called taking care of yourself. Its called taking showers, eating well, and studying. You had the money and resources to do all of these things, and you didn’t take it. Instead you holed up in filthy West all day and all night, dedicating yourself to becoming one of the most repulsive creeps Storrs Mansfield has ever witnessed. And you take pride, in this! Good lord.
As for your claim about Towers residents “weeping and wailing” that night in 2008 – what kind of nonsense is this? Perhaps those voices you heard were inside of you, Mr. Winchell. Perhaps it was your soul, crying out, begging for a more desirable vessel. A vessel that had the good sense to brush its teeth once in a while, or ingest something besides Dubra and Monster Energy Drinks.
Or, how about this – one that could admit, once and for all, that Towers beats West.
Take a hike, Winchell. Towers Rules.