You see a really good looking person sitting across the bar. They’re with a couple of their friends and there doesn’t seem to be a romantic partner in sight. Do you walk up to them and try flirting? Probably not. Most people remain single because they’re too afraid of rejection to act on their crushes or to talk to the good looking person at the bar, especially if the romantic status of said crush or person is unknown. So, how can you tell if someone is single without asking them outright?
There are some people out there that use the quasi-stalker method of finding out the person’s name and looking for either a relationship status or a reoccurring, touchy person in their photos on Facebook or Instagram. Others casually corner the friends of the gorgeous person and ask them. Which, while semi-direct, can both get a straight answer and potentially end with the friends telling your target that you asked about them, which they will likely see as flattering regardless of their romantic status.
If the friends are intimidating and the social media is private, it may be time to try detective work. Danielle Anne Suleik of LovePanky listed several possible actions a single person might take, which alone may just be their personality, but together could be a good indication of romantic status: If the person looks really put together in a casual setting like a coffee shop, then they may be trying to attract attention. If they eye every good-looking person that walks by or they tend to people watch, then they may be searching for a potential suitor. If you always see them with a platonic group of friends and they’re never checking their phone, then they may not have a partner. They also may exhibit signs of interest in you that a taken person may not, such as: Eye contact, smiling, full attention and no phone in sight.
Of course, these could be void if the person in question is either a cheater, in an open relationship or has a long-distance partner.
If all else fails, you can try to chat them up with evasively direct questions or conversation topics. For instance, you can ask them what their plans are for Valentine’s Day or if they use a dating app. You can also bring up a romantic podcast or movie you watched and see if they have a reaction. But the absolute foolproof method is to just to talk to them under the assumption that they’re taken. That way, when you casually ask them if they’re going to spend, say, a holiday with their partner, then they should answer either “yes,” “no” or “I don’t have one.”
Next time you see a good looking person, remember that you don’t have to run from them. By using these tactics to decode their relationship status, maybe you can gain the confidence to say hello to them and take the first steps to leaving singlehood behind.
If you have any questions or need any dating advice, feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m positive other people are facing the same romantic problems as you, and would love to hear an answer.
Rebecca Maher is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at email@example.com.