The bittersweet effects of the honeymoon phase

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The honeymoon phase isn’t all that it’s hyped up to be. In fact, it’s not even the best part of a relationship. You’re obsessing over someone at every given moment, you feel obligated to put a lot more effort into appearances and you may drift away from the ones you really love the most. (Robynlou Kavanagh/Flickr Creative Commons)

Have you ever entered a new relationship and experienced that overwhelming feeling of affection for your new partner? While falling in love may feel similar, what you’re really feeling is the honeymoon phase. You may also know it by the butterflies in your stomach, the consistent smiling at texts or just a general feeling of like you’re in some cheesy teenage rom-com.

During this stage of a relationship, you may think your partner is the perfect human being and reserving all of your time for them. Whether it’s for a fun string of dates or crazy amounts of sex, it’s no joke just how powerful the honeymoon phase is.

Sadly, there’s a downside to investing all of your time into a new relationship: you may be ignoring some very important relationships with your friends.

“My best friend got a boyfriend and cut himself off completely in 10th grade. When I asked ‘What’s up?’ he said ‘Busy.’” Joel Monge, a second-semester communications and psychology double major, said.

It’s likely that everyone has either had a friend distance themselves because of a new relationship, or, maybe unknowingly, you’ve been the one to cut yourself off from your closest friends. It’s completely normal to get caught up in the excitement that a new relationship brings, but it’s easy to forget about those who have always been by your side.

“It’s unfortunate to watch someone alienate all their friends and then when they need support after a breakup they might not be there.” Paige Frisbee, a second-semester psychology major, said.

While the situation may seem tough to navigate, the best option may be upfront honesty with the person by opening up a conversation rather than pointing fingers. An open conversation can help lift any unnerving feelings and also re-establish a simple line of communication with one another. One possible solutions to the problem might be to work out a day of the week to spend time with your friend away from a significant other.

“Of course you wish nothing but happiness for them, but once they start to shift all of their trust into their new partner during the start of the relationship, it’s tough to get through to them. At times it even feels difficult to have even a simple conversation with them without feeling as though you’re kind of distant from them.” Kaylin DeJesus, a second-semester psychology major, said.

There’s really no way of telling how long the honeymoon phase will last but, of course, nothing lasts forever. You might start picking up on some unsightly habits or begin getting into disagreements with your partner. However, this isn’t to say that all relationships are doomed. The period after the honeymoon phase is where you’ll really be able to build a stronger bond and enjoy each other for your open and honest selves.

“Once they find their balance and break out of that lovey-dovey phase, things easily settle back into place as long as the friendship pre-relationship was strong enough.” DeJesus said.

The honeymoon phase isn’t all that it’s hyped up to be. In fact, it’s not even the best part of a relationship. You’re obsessing over someone at every given moment, you feel obligated to put a lot more effort into appearances and you may drift away from the ones you really love the most. The next time you find yourself in a new relationship, try not to keep your friends out of the loop. Just remember, should things go south, they’re the ones who are going to be there to pick you back up.


Brandon Barzola is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email at brandon.barzola@uconn.edu.

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