Weekly Wellness: Dating in 2019



I am about to impose a very important question relating to society and the overall concept of human interaction. The question is one you may often ask yourself as well. Why is dating so difficult for our generation? I have experienced many different types of romantic partners throughout my life. They all taught me different lessons that helped shape the person I am today. However, they also led me to question the norms that society is subconsciously drilling into our minds.  

Feminism has been on the rise in the media for decades now, but I’ve noticed that in everyday life, men still carry themselves with a somewhat entitled complex. Nowadays, relationships usually start with texting. Boy texts girl; girl texts boy. They get to know each other on a more basic and superficial level before meeting face-to-face. Some more audacious men might even ask for more personal things (if you know what I mean) before even meeting in person. Boy and girl go on a date and girl is immediately expected to be bubbly and accept any type of flirting the boy throws at her. It’s 2019. Some men even force the girl to pay using the “feminism” card. There is a clear difference between independence and chivalry.  

Women are taught from a young age that they are nurturers. They naturally have more compassion and are more emotional by nature. They are taught that they must look and act a certain way if they want to attract a husband, and they must provide him with unconditional support and care. I don’t care who says things aren’t like this anymore; they are. It’s not 1950 anymore, but this standard still exists.  

Men, on the other hand, are taught that they must “choose” a woman. They are taught that women are to please them. They are taught that women are to help them become a man. The stereotypes casually thrown around on television and the degrading messages in modern music make more of an impact than common thought. Men are taught to view women as “bi****s” and feel entitled to whatever sexual action they demand. If they do not receive these actions, they simply move on and label the girl, making fun of the fact she isn’t “easy.” Obviously, not all men exude these behaviors, but more and more I see these types of men exhibiting the exact patriarchal values we as a society have been trying so hard to dissolve.  

There is an overall message to this. Girls, there is more to life than male attention. There is more to life than being in a relationship. We should not settle, we should demand what we deserve from the men around us (respectfully of course) and we should know our worth. Some actions that we are conditioned to think are normal are actually toxic and should not be tolerated. The stereotype that men don’t have feelings seems pretty true, but it should not be our job as women to try and drag feelings and emotions out of them. There are wonderful men out there that were raised right and are ready to share their love with you. Don’t settle for less just because you feel lonely. Raise your standards and know your worth. 

Tessa Pawlik is a campus correspondent for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at tessa.pawlik@uconn.edu.

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