How to Stop Being Single and Get Ready to Mingle: ‘Happy Singlehood’

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Singletons are also far superior at connecting with other people online and staying in touch, because unlike their coupled-up counterparts, they don’t have someone they always fall back on. (Sergei F/Flickr Creative Commons)

Society today is constantly pressuring people, even college students, to couple up and form a romantic relationship. But what if it doesn’t have to be like that? Elyakim Kislev’s book, “Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living” argues that people are better off alone and that society is starting to agree.

Due to the nature of being coupled up, singletons seem to be getting more out of their work lives and interests than those in relationships. Because they don’t have someone else they need to devote their attention to, and because their futures aren’t confined to another person, singletons have more time and energy to devote to themselves and their own needs. Kislev’s research found that single people find their work more meaningful than married people. So according to his book, you may be more invested and interested in your school work than your coupled up friends.

Singletons are also far superior at connecting with other people online and staying in touch, because unlike their coupled-up counterparts, they don’t have someone they always fall back on. A great example of this is the LGBTQ+ community. On every college campus and within every city, the LGBTQ+ community has grown incredible support networks and places for members of the community to enrich their lives. It also provides a constant social circle to fall back on, so even though some members of the community may be single, they will never have to be alone. In fact, by meeting the social and emotional needs of its members, the LGBTQ+ community has contributed to the rising acceptance of singlehood in many societies.

Kislev also pointed out the growing acceptance of going solo sexually. His book mentioned that 75 percent of Japanese men between 20 and 30 years old consider themselves “herbivores,” which means they’re not interested in sex or relationships. In fact, the number of men in Japan with sex dolls as companions is on the rise. He also touched on the growing trend of “romansturbation,” or solo-dating/sex, among millennials. Unlike simple masturbation, which most college students did anyway before society began accepting singlehood, romansturbation involves treating yourself as you would a date. It’s not just jumping right into bed, you actually have to go out of your way to seduce yourself.

Even if the idea of staying single doesn’t appeal to you, the growing acceptance of singlehood in society means the pressure to couple up may be calming down. If you don’t want to stop being single and get ready to mingle, Kislev even recommends countries you can visit that are more welcoming of singlehood, with Spain, Italy and Greece being especially welcoming. But even if you don’t want to leave UConn, just remember, despite the several handholders walking down the streets, you’re not alone: The majority of the population of North America is single as well.

If you have any questions or need any dating advice, feel free to contact me at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu. I’m positive other people are facing the same romantic problems as you, and would love to hear an answer.


Rebecca Maher is a staff writer for The Daily Campus. She can be reached via email at rebecca.l.maher@uconn.edu.

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