Relationships now can be so quick because it is like you are always with them via text and calling. Photo by Ryan Franco from Unsplash.com
What is love? What can we say love means and can we say it has been the same since the beginning of time? Every human has their own theory on what love really is, but none of us really know. This is especially true since relationships entered the digital age. Today, people fall in “love” through dating apps and social media and we hear stories of relationships where the couple hasn’t met offline. Texting has expedited the relationship time-frame and if it is such a short time, how can it be love? I believe we need a more in depth connection than one that connects online.
One story that makes my heart brighten every time I hear it is when my aunt and uncle met and fell in love. My mom was best friends with my aunt and my uncle, and my mom knew what they thought about each other so she brought them together. My aunt says when she first saw my uncle come up to the door to ask her out, she knew that he was the love of her life. It took time for their relationship to develop: They talked at first, they went on dates and they developed a bond. Them talking took more time than it would now with texting and phone calls, but is it really a different kind of love?
I believe in this world there needs to be a middle-ground. Yes, your relationship can develop through texting and phone calls but you also need that date night and that physical touch to get that burst in your heart. Being with a person just staring into their eyes can have a far bigger impact than just reading words off of a phone. Laying on your partner’s chest listening to their heart beat can have such an impact emotionally because of that connection you are sharing.
This is why relationships lasted so much longer for people like my aunt and uncle; they had those times together, but then they had separation with no texting or calling. This separation makes the heart grow fonder of the other person, but the digital age takes away from that growth because now we can just text and call one another. Relationships now can be so quick because it is like you are always with them via text and calling. Then once a bit of separation comes along, they cannot deal with it. Does a short relationship mean they did not really love each other? Relationships today are just condensed versions of yesterday’s relationships. All that time and energy that our parents and grandparents put into their relationships is condensed into the time we take texting and talking to our partners.
We all need to take time to ourselves to gauge how long we should be without our partners and see how much we want them to be with us. This is why there needs to be a middle ground. We need to take our time and not make a jump unless we have really felt that connection. A middle ground can be texting and calling the person but not overdoing it because we need more of a face-to-face interaction rather than a relationship built by how many emojis we send each other. Everyday texting and calling can create a deeper separation in a relationship because the more you talk to them the more you are going to want to eventually get away from them.
Although there are many success stories of love found over websites and dating apps, do we really want the internet controlling the world of love? Cell phones are in every aspect of our lives today. I do not believe it should have any effect over the love we have for another person. Take in this information, and if you are in a relationship grab your partner close and do not speak. Take time to sit there and really digest what you feel and how much the digital world impacts your relationship.
Dylan Bottillo-Hesselton is a contributor for The Daily Campus. He can be reached via email at dylan.bottillo-henderson@uconn.edu
