Maybe you used the breaks in action to use the bathroom, get more food or scroll social media for buzz around the game. For whatever reason, you may have missed a portion of those classic Super Bowl commercials your friends will talk about for the next week or so. As someone who was glued to his seat the entire time, I will filter out all of the duds and just give you the highlights from Sunday evening. Here are the top 10:
The Tide Trilogy
Charlie Day, best known as lovable idiot Charlie Kelly in “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” starred in three commercials that aired periodically throughout the big game. The commercial started with Charlie’s friend Emily Hampshire accidently rubbing a stain on Charlie’s shirt. Charlie wanted to take care of the stain immediately, but couldn’t because the game was on. This ironically could’ve been solved with Tide to Go, but whatever. During the second quarter, he traveled back in time, where he got ridiculed by the Bud Light Knight. Then in the fourth, as an old man and finally with a clean shirt, he ran into his old friend Emily who went to congratulate Charlie with a pat on the shoulder. And guess what … she stains his jacket. Classic!
Post Malone trashes a gas station
In this one, Post Malone goes to the gas station for a cold, refreshing brew. It probably isn’t uncommon to run into your favorite rapper at the gas station refrigerator. Anyway, the new product Bud Light Seltzer catches his eye, and the well-dressed, yet hilariously tattooed people in his brain controlling his actions decide to try it. You know, because it’s totally acceptable to crack open a gas station beer and drink before paying for it. His taste buds love it, and the two people in control of the big movement lever fight over whether to get the seltzer or classic Bud Light, which results in Malone flinging his body all over the gas station, knocking down shelves and effectively destroying the place. That’s when another person in his brain points out that Post is rich and hits the “Get Both” button that the only the extremely wealthy must have.
Bryan Cranston does the Dew
— Mountain Dew® (@MountainDew) January 28, 2020
Personally, I thought this one was hilarious. The only alternative is to think it’s super weird. Cranston parodies the iconic “Here’s Johnny” scene from “The Shining,” but while pushing Mountain Dew Zero Sugar on Wendy. When Wendy accepts the soda through the busted bathroom door, Cranston gives a hilarious smile and nod reminiscent of his days as Hal in Malcolm in the Middle. The commercial ends with quick cuts of Mountain Dew flooding the halls of the Overlook Hotel and Cranston’s face on the twin girls. Disturbing, yet jarringly funny.
Google decided to switch gears from the typical humor or excitement that Super Bowl commercials usually try to invoke and went straight for the heart. All jokes aside, this one was a tear-jerker. An elderly man, seemingly with impaired memory, is typing and speaking to Google asking about faded memories he has of his late wife Loretta. Old photos of man and woman throughout the years fade onto and away from the screen, as the man remembers things like how Loretta laughed and the things she loved. Not many companies can execute the emotional route, but Google did it well.
— Hyundai USA (@Hyundai) January 27, 2020
If Boston sports rub you the wrong way, or you think Boston accents are annoying, this one isn’t for you. Various famous Boston celebrities such as Chris Evans, John Krasinski, Rachel Dratch and David Ortiz do their best, most obnoxious Boston accents while talking about a Hyundai Sonata’s new Smart Park feature. Of course, they abandon the use of the letter “r.” John brags about all of the different “pahts” of Boston that he was able to “pahk his cah” using this feature. Big Papi calls this “wicked smaht.”
Tom Brady has live sports
We’re staying in Boston for this one. In case you missed it, Thursday night Brady dropped a cryptic photo of him walking through a dark Gillette Stadium tunnel. Football fans, especially those who root for and against the Patriots, spent the days leading up to Sunday speculating. Is he retiring? Is he staying? Will he sign somewhere else? Saturday, he leaked that we will find out during the Super Bowl, because of course every Super Bowl has to be about Tom freaking Brady. As it turns out, this was just an elaborate ploy to let us know that Hulu doesn’t just have live sports, but they have all sorts of other crap, too. I wonder how big the Brink’s truck Hulu “pahked” outside Brady’s house for this one was.
RIP Mr Peanut
Babies are hot in the streets right now. With the insane popularity of Disney’s Baby Yoda, I anticipate brands will all want to get on board the baby train. Planters did so in a big way, by reporting that Mr. Peanut has died, and that his funeral will be a Super Bowl commercial. At the funeral, the Kool Aid man shed a tear (that wasn’t even red) on to Mr. Peanut’s grave, which created a peanut plant and spawned none other than Baby Nut. This adolescent legume then made dolphin noises for some reason because saying in an adult voice, “Just kidding, I’m back,” and the hashtag #BabyNut appeared on screen. I really didn’t like the commercial until I saw this absurd hashtag. Now I’m on board, baby (nut).
Old Town dance off
Speaking of trendy, does it get any more trendy than Lil Nas X and “Old Town Road?” It’s no surprise that Doritos, who consistently pumps out fire Super Bowl advertising every February, got the hottest song of 2019. In this, Lil Nas rides into a wild west town called “Cool Ranch” for what seemed like a duel with Sam Elliot. The music from “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” then turns into “Old Town Road,” and the two have a dance off. It appeared that Nas X won for a nice little dance move he did with his horse, while Elliot’s horse refused to dance. However, I think Elliot won with his mustache wave.
The Turbo Tax dance
This year, we’re bringing the party to the Super Bowl! 🕺💃
From folding laundry to beekeeping, people accomplish amazing things every day — taxes included. So celebrate with us — check out the #AllPeopleAreTaxPeople music video. https://t.co/s4kOZ620J0 #W2Step #SBLIV pic.twitter.com/9y5Ers72Gj
— TurboTax (@turbotax) January 29, 2020
I think this has to be the most underrated commercial of the night. This one played all of the greatest hits in terms of what makes a commercial stick in your head in the weeks to come, and with perfect timing. It had the super catchy song, the goofy yet simple dance to go with it and perhaps the most genius part of all, it came just over a week after we all got out W-2s for tax season. Now sing it with me, “All people are tax people!”
Jason Momoa gets comfortable
This one was the best. Ask literally anyone. Rocket Mortgage burst onto the scene with one of the funniest commercials I’ve ever seen. Notable jacked guy Jason Momoa gets home from a long day of … well I assume moving worlds, and says home is the one place he can let his guard down. He then proceeds to remove the boots that add six inches, the muscles that qualified him to be Aquaman and his luscious locks. The commercial humorously ends with Momoa struggling to bench press the bar, pathetically screaming for his spotter to “take it, take it, take it!” The ad hilariously humanized the real-life superhero, but I have to admit, I’m still not quite sure what Rocket Mortgage actually does.