Thirsty Thursdays: We love a stress drink, Mr. President

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JFK’s favorite drink, the Bloody Mary, may have the most ingredients of any cocktail you will ever make. As far as I can tell, it’s one of those drinks you either love or hate. There’s no real middle ground here. Photo courtesy of @rhiiila on Unsplash.com.

Not to state the obvious, but this week has been one of the most stressful ones of our time. With a close election, midterms and the Supreme Court up to no good, I think we could all use a stiff drink. To commemorate a terrible week, I suggest a few festive cocktails. Let’s face it, we can’t all be Democratic nominee and former Vice President Joe Biden and eat ice cream to cope. 

Star Tribune came out with a delightful article listing the favorite drinks of every president of the United States, and honestly, I’m not surprised by any of the picks. President George Washington loved a dark porter, President Franklin Pierce’s favorite was “everything” and Honest Abe could not stop drinking water. But, in my opinion, the more recent presidents had a more modern and tasty pallet. So, for the sake of mental health, here’s a few presidential cocktails to try. 

JFK: Bloody mary 

Bloody marys may have the most ingredients of any cocktail you will ever make. You need a lemon wedge, a lime wedge, a shot of vodka, two shots of tomato juice, two teaspoons of horseradish, two dashes of Tabasco sauce, two dashes of Worcestershire sauce, one pinch of celery salt, one pinch of black pepper, one pinch of smoked paprika and various garnishes of your choice. Use the celery salt and lemon/lime wedges to flavor the rim of your glass, then squeeze both wedges into a shaker and drop them in. Add all of the remaining ingredients with ice and shake gently. Then all you have to do is strain it into a glass and add your garnishes — i.e. celery, bacon, parsley, lime, etc. 

To be honest, I hate bloody marys. I just feel like I’m drinking a cold, unpleasant tomato soup. But hey, JFK liked it and so did everyone else in the mid-20th century. As far as I can tell, it’s one of those drinks you either love or hate. There’s no real middle ground here. 

The vodka martini: President George Bush’s drink of choice. All you need is approximately two shots of vodka, a half ounce of vermouth, and a green olive. Photo courtesy of @adityaries on Unsplash.com.

George H. W. Bush: Vodka martinis

Compared to JFK’s drink of choice, President George Bush’s is easy peasy. All you need is approximately two shots (although, that may just be the college student in me adding extra alcohol to the recipe), a half an ounce of vermouth and a green olive. It’s your choice as to whether you want it shaken or stirred. I could not tell you what the difference is, although I’m sure it will still taste a whole lot like you’re drinking straight vodka without a buffer. 

Bill Clinton: Snakebite

Oddly enough, President Bill Clinton was refused snakebite at a bar in the U.K. once because it was supposedly illegal there. After buffing up on the legal side of the drink, I don’t think that’s true, especially since it’s an invention of the U.K., but c’est la vie. Snakebite is eight ounces of lager, seven ounces of hard cider and one ounce of black currant syrup served in a pint glass. To be honest, it sounds delicious. Black currant is super sweet and fruity. I’m certain it would emphasize the cider and help hide the lager. 

If these cocktails don’t appeal to you, you could always drink beer like President Barack Obama or “expensive red wine” like President Richard M. Nixon. Either way, good luck with the rest of your week. Let’s hope things will seem less stressful by the weekend. 

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