Hello readers, and Happy Valentine’s Day! Today’s edition of “UConn Tell Me About It” is extra special. In the spirit of the holiday, all of today’s questions are about love, sex and relationships. As always, I’m Homie B., UConn’s anonymous advice-giver for any and every question on your mind. Let’s get into it!
Q: I’m a virgin and having sex isn’t something I was worried about, especially because my boyfriend is essentially a man written by a woman and is incredibly patient. But his dick is big. Like big. And I’m a pretty small person. How do I make the first time not crazy painful? I know it won’t be great or very comfortable because it’s my first time, but I’d really like to avoid it being painful. Thank you!
Having sex for the first time can be scary, especially for women. It sounds like you are already expecting it to be uncomfortable or bad because you’ve never had sex before, but I think that with good communication, you can definitely have a pleasurable and pain-free experience. Firstly, make sure you do some kind of foreplay beforehand, like making out or touching one another. The most important thing you can do is tell your boyfriend what feels good to you and what doesn’t. Your pleasure is just as important as his, and a mutually pleasurable experience is key for good sex. When the time comes to try penetration, use lube and go slowly! This will help with any discomfort. Sex shouldn’t hurt, so if it is painful, stop and evaluate how to approach it better. Experiment with different poses and see what works best. No matter what, communication is the most important thing!
Q: What do you think of carrying college relationships post-graduation? I’ve been in a long-term relationship for most of my years here and we’re both graduating this spring. Our top job offers might be in different cities. Should we try to land in the same place, try long-distance, take a break, or break up for good?
It is never a good idea to make major life decisions based on what your romantic partner wants. I don’t recommend trying to actively end up in the same place after graduation. If one of you ends up sacrificing your dream job, or isn’t as happy with the location the other chooses, that can lead to resentment in your relationship. Choosing a place to live and work together is too much pressure for people who are just starting their adult lives. However, if you’ve already spent so much time in a relationship with your partner, I’m assuming you must really like being with them. Living in different cities doesn’t mean you have to end things. You can try a long-distance relationship and see how it goes! Just be honest with each other about what you both want, and you’ll find a solution to staying together. Love will find a way if it’s meant to be. And who knows, maybe you’ll end up in the same city anyways. Good luck!
Q: How do you shoot your shot with someone?
Shooting your shot with a person you’ve been crushing on can definitely be intimidating. The best thing that you can do is be honest with the person. Whether it be through a text, DM or an in-person conversation, just tell them how you feel. Don’t be too intense and scare them off, but a simple “I really enjoy spending time with you” or “I think you’re pretty when you smile” can show that you’re interested in getting to know them better. The possibility of rejection is obviously hard to face, but it’s better that you know how they feel so you can move on and hopefully find love with someone else. Just be brave and put yourself out there!
This has been “UConn Tell Me About It” by Homie B. Submit your questions for future columns to this anonymous form. You will be required to use your UConn email to access the form, but no email will be collected from the response. Responses will be published online and in-print on Mondays and Thursdays throughout the semester. See you next time!