There’s nothing like coming back from a night on the town (neighborhood), dressed to the nines (covered in fake blood) and ready to trade your savings (candy) in hopes of hitting the jackpot.
Halloween doesn’t end when the doorbells stop ringing or when the lights go out; the night is still young. Children dump their treats on the floor, categorizing and making negotiations with parents and siblings. They bid adieu to the raisins, the pencils and their least favorite treats as not all candies are created equal. Keep reading to see Life’s stance on what candies are tricks, not treats:
Taevis Kolz, CC
A general rule is that candy is good as long as it is sweet. While the vast majority of candy falls under this descriptor, there are some exceptions you never want to find in your Halloween haul.
For instance, anything that tastes like black licorice is an insult to the tastebuds. Candy that fits in this category includes black licorice itself or Good & Plenty. With an uncommonly bitter and strong taste, black licorice-adjacent candy easily triggers a gag reflex at any attempt to consume.
Another type of candy that feels like a waste of space in a Halloween bag is anything that can be described as spicy. Eating candy is supposed to be a pleasant, non-threatening experience. Sure, maybe you enjoy the thrill of torching your tongue with the awful taste of Hot Tamales or Atomic Fireballs, but for the rest of us, save the spiciness for real food.
Some honorable mentions are candy corn, Milk Duds, Whoppers and anything coconut-flavored. Unlike the other candies mentioned, these are actually edible. They’re just never a first, second or even third choice. They are last resort candy for when all the good stuff is gone.
Max Soroka, CC
I have an extremely controversial take on my least favorite Halloween candy and will gladly welcome the heat that may follow. Any candy combining chocolate and peanut butter combination, including Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, is drastically overrated. When I decide on a candy I would like to eat, I’m mentally preparing myself for a sweet, delightful experience, not something that will dry my mouth out and leave me desperate for a glass of water.
Personally, I’ve never been a fan of peanut butter flavored things whether it be cookies, ice cream or protein powder, but I really do enjoy peanut butter on its own or in a sandwich. Chocolate is just too good of a candy on its own — or a great accessory to other delicious pairings — to be slumming with peanut butter (if you haven’t tried chocolate-covered pretzels yet, you are seriously missing out).
I know I’m crazy, I’ve yet to meet another person who shares this opinion. The sad thing is that this specific merger of savory and sweet is so beloved by everyone else that I have no escape. Peanut butter and chocolate is not exclusive to Halloween alone; I need to avoid it on Valentine’s Day, Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day — the list goes on and on.
Mariia Barabanova, CC
As someone who did not grow up in the United States, I definitely have limited knowledge of what is actually considered Halloween candy. Is there even a specific category of sweets that are only acceptable to eat during this holiday?
I do, however, have a very strong opinion regarding the candy I hate most. My least favorite Halloween candy is definitely Laffy Taffy. In fact, I think it’s the worst candy ever— it’s weirdly sticky, yet not chewy enough. The package is impossible to open without ripping off pieces of the candy — don’t even get me started on the extremely artificially tasting flavors. Specifically the banana one; I refuse to believe it’s someone’s Halloween candy of choice. There are so many better alternatives to fruit-flavored chewy candy; why are those Laffy Taffy monsters still being given out to kids?
There are a few more that I strongly dislike. Like Hot Tamales — they’re literally spicy, why are they even considered candy? They’re like the evil version of Mike and Ike’s!
Other than that, I wouldn’t call any Halloween candy “horrible.” However, I would characterize Almond Joy and Lemonheads as extremely overrated.