If we’re lucky in the Opinion section, we work through our beliefs completely and support them with great arguments. But sometimes, we don’t need a deeper reason to hold our convictions. Rapid Fire is for those tweet-length takes that can be explained in just a sentence or two — no more justification needed.
In this Rapid Fire, writers gave their opinions on the question: It’s no secret social media has some downsides – if given the opportunity, which social media app or platform would you choose to permanently delete from existence?
Madeline Papcun, Opinion Editor: We’d probably all be better off if we got rid of most social media, but my personal gripe lies entirely with Snapchat. It’s a user experience from hell every time I open the app – an immediate bombardment of just my face on my phone screen, notifications from people I’m not close enough to text with and memories from X number of years ago today with exes from as far back as middle school. TL;DR: Snapchat is the work of the devil.
Nell Srinath, Associate Opinion Editor: A few weeks ago, this might have been a difficult and even tearful decision; however, with the acquisition of Twitter by ultra-billionaire and Dr. Evil impersonator Elon Musk, wiping the bird app from the face of the Earth and giving Musk a $44 billion hole in his heart would be the premier accomplishment of my lifetime.
Owen Silverman, Weekly Columnist: LinkedIn. It’s just Tinder for sapiosexual capitalist-wannabee overachievers who are never actually looking for a job (aka Capricorns). I don’t need to know what you did in high school, or that you liked someone else’s virtue-signaling post about their recent voluntaristic adventure to xyz country to profit off of global atrocities and shortages. Also your headshot makes you look like Kermit the Frog on picture day.
Harrison Raskin, Editor-in-Chief: Absolutely, without question we must purge Yik Yak from the earth. Truly, this is a selfless choice. As hilarious as they are, the wellbeing of the terminally horny and online posters from that program is dependent on them going outside, touching grass and realizing that they do not need anonymous head.
Dan Stark, Opinion Contributor: Facebook seems like an easy choice here. The platform has become a hellscape of the political rants and conspiracy theories of angry Boomers who have way too much time on their hands. This, combined with these people posting multiple times a day, makes me want to eradicate Facebook from existence.
Keegan Reck, Staff Writer: Send TikTok to the deepest pits of hell. A platform that takes such advantage of cognitive reward systems poses often underrated threats to human social behavior, especially on the youth.