If we’re lucky in the Opinion section, we work through our beliefs completely and support them with great arguments. But sometimes, we don’t need a deeper reason to hold our convictions. Rapid Fire is for those tweet-length takes that can be explained in just a sentence or two — no more justification needed.
In this Rapid Fire, writers gave their opinions on the question: What premise of a television show would you choose to make real?
Madeline Papcun, Opinion Editor: “The Muppet Show.” Obviously. At this point, I think the only thing that could fix the dystopian hellscape we call “Earth” would be the chaos of the Muppets running rampant throughout daily life.
Nell Srinath, Associate Opinion Editor: I’m gonna have to go with the news. It’d be crazy if all of that stuff was real.
Harrison Raskin, Editor-in-Chief: “One Piece,” no real competition. Eating magic fruit makes you rubber and for the most part, everyone understands that the government is a tyrannical capitalist empire bent on crushing peoples’ movements.
Dan Stark, Weekly Columnist: I need a “Regular Show” real life version right now. Seeing Benson, a literal walking gumball machine, and Muscle Man would be wild.
Owen Silverman, Weekly Columnist: “Better Call Saul,” only so I can call upon James McGill, Esq., attorney at law to resolve all of my (il)legal issues.
Sam Zelin, Managing Editor: I’d have to say “Phineas and Ferb,” specifically one line from its theme song. If the only problem our generation had to deal with was “finding a good way to spend [summer vacation],” that would be a much less stressful world.
