Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. So first and foremost: Happy Valentine’s Day Huskies! I hope you all spent it with someone you love, but for those who didn’t, don’t worry! I’ve spent the majority of my Valentine’s Days single, and I’ve turned out just fantastic!
I always used to dread Feb. 14; I was a very nervous kid growing up, especially when it came to romantic relationships. As a teenager who was a late bloomer, I felt like I never knew how to talk to girls. I felt like a boy amongst men; I was a skinny, awkward kid who struggled with making eye contact, had a high-pitched voice that had a knack for cracking the worst times and felt generally anxious in most social situations.
In high school a lot of my friends had girlfriends, so every Valentine’s Day I was bombarded with reminders of how they had something that I felt I was simply unable to have. It made me feel angry and inadequate.
Over time, my luck with girls began to improve, but I still hated Valentine’s Day. All the social media posts, hearts and mushy feelings were just too much. Regardless of what I did during the day, however productive or healthy, I still ended it angry.
In college that has been no different, until Valentine’s Day 2022. It was a cold February day in Storrs and I woke up feeling awful, yet I dragged my miserable single self out of bed and to classes. I went to the gym, gave a presentation on the movie “Cinderella Man” and even bought a plane ticket to see my cousin in San Francisco.
But in classic Valentine’s Day fashion for me, something went wrong. My dad and I had decided that we wanted to run the B.A.A. Distance Medley, so I went to the gym again to get a simple training run in. I hopped on the treadmill and tried to start running, and exactly five minutes later, I had to stop to throw up. I was dizzy, tired and, most of all, angry — so another typical Valentine’s Day.
After a long and disappointing day I walked back to the dorms of North — where I was living at the time — as I trudged through the cold night I sat down on the stairs outside of Jorgenson and looked up at the stars. I remember thinking to myself “whoever has been using me as a personal punching bag, if you could maybe stop? Just for a little while? Thanks.”
Well, whoever was using me as a punching bag clearly had a few more good hits left. Forty-eight hours after my request, I was being rushed to Hartford Healthcare; it was there that I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, a condition that occurs when your blood glucose levels are too high and inhibits your body’s production of insulin, impacting around 1.3 million Americans.
For a non-diabetic human, their average blood sugar is anywhere from 80mg/dL to 180mg/dL. Any blood sugar level above 200 mg/dL is considered pre-diabetic and warrants medical treatment. I found out that before I was rushed to the hospital, I had been living with an average blood sugar of 450 mg/dL for 12 weeks. “If you had waited another day, you may not be awake right now” a doctor told me.
After all of that, my hatred for Valentine’s Day reached an all time high. Going into Valentine’s Day 2023, I was miserable. Leading up to Valentine’s Day, I would have nightmares, seeing myself in that same hospital bed I was in just a year ago. I would be so worried about the next thing trying to kill me that I was having near daily panic attacks. I barely went to my classes at this time and was making stupid, careless mistakes in my work.
But then, the funniest thing happened, Valentine’s Day 2023 happened, and I didn’t die! It was just a normal day. For the first time in my life, Valentine’s Day came to an end and I wasn’t angry; I was relieved.
For this Valentine’s Day, in the morning, as I was walking over to the Legislative Office Building in Hartford for work, blasting “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone I could not stop thinking about how grateful I am to be here. For the rest of my life, regardless of relationship status, I will look forward to Valentine’s Day.
Even if I have no one to spend it with, I don’t care. I am just happy to be here with you all. Being single may suck on Valentine’s Day, but you know what’s a lot worse? Dying.
A suggestion for your next story would be to tie it into something bigger than you, rather than verbalizing your victim complex about being single.
You dense block head. Clearly didn’t read the full article if that is your takeaway. He’s expressing his gratitude for life despite the holiday and what it typically means and entails for people without a romantic influence. It is an interesting and nuanced take clearly too complicated for you.
^
Molly, I’m not sure that’s the best takeaway from this article. The author clearly was reflecting on past experiences of the holiday and sharing how a near-death experience changed his perceptions and world view. Additionally, I think it’s fair to expect a personal account from an article that has the author’s name in the title and explicitly states he is speaking about his own meaning. Happy Valentine’s Day, I hope this helped!
I hate to harp on your comment, but “victim complex” sounds insensitive considering the author was speaking about being diagnosed with a chronic health condition and coming close to death.
Great read! Super interesting take on your experience of Valentine’s Day
Loved the story! Glad to see how you’ve taken on a positive perspective after such a difficult situation!! Hope you’re doing better now 🙂
I loved this story. What a great perspective on what is important.