With no student fee increase in sight to help keep our heads above water, The Daily Campus is looking for an official corporate sponsor. And in the spirit of our historic back-to-back National Championship win, we’re even willing to market ourselves just like the NCAA (Examples: “Pizza Hut: the official pizza hut of the NCAA”; “TurboTax: the official tax filing service of the NCAA”).
This week, we ask members of the Opinion section: Who should be the official sponsor of The Daily Campus?
Nell Srinath, Opinion Editor: As student journalists, writers and advocates, we at The Daily Campus are fierce defenders of the First Amendment rights of expression, press, assembly and the other two. To stave off “cancel cultists” and protect our freedom and democracy at all costs, The Daily Campus is partnering with the Pinkertons and Academi, formerly known as Blackwater — the official private military companies of The Daily Campus.
Dan Stark, Associate Opinion Editor: If there’s two things readers should know about our paper, it’s that we love the war industry and need all the funding we can get. That’s why the Department of Defense would be the perfect sponsor of our rebranded paper, The Daily Warhawk.
Tomas Hinckley, Weekly Columnist: Bookworms Cafe. The amount of Daily Campus content made on those hallowed seats is incredible, and no one knows the truth of the matter. We call it Bookworms brain-rot, the fuel of our writing. Sometimes when I walk into Bookworms, I’ll see my fellow writers in there and I give them a look like two soldiers in their last moments before deployment, solemnly and understanding [Editor’s note: This Rapid Fire is currently being edited in Bookworms Cafe].
Luke Feeney, Weekly Columnist: Lucky Charms because, much like the cereal, we are all just magical!
Evelyn Pazan, Contributor: Apple’s Notes App. This is where I store lists of all the things that anger me during the week so that I have ideas when it’s time to pitch. Conveniently, it’s also where I put my writing to-do list that I ignore until I realize at the last minute that I need to lock in and write my piece for the week.