One of the most normalized experiences for college students is dealing with the dining halls. Why only have the stress of classes? We should also be worried about whether we will be fed edible food every day. Having experienced all the University of Connecticut’s dining halls over the past four years, I have formed some opinions and will be sharing them with you whether you like it or not. Just like when it’s exam week and every dining hall has manager’s choice, you must deal with it.
McMahon
Thank you for trying to be fancy with the premade plates. When I ask the student worker if I could have the chicken without the purple mash potatoes and get the dirtiest as if I told them they look like a puppetry major, makes it totally worth it. Special mention for the worker who wouldn’t give me more pernil last week. You left my plate emptier than my lectures after we won the natty #backtoback. Also, I hope the guy at the front of the McMahon pizza line knows he is hated when he takes the last three plates of pizza, ensuring the line wrapping around to the front desk must wait 10 minutes for a pizza from the oven.
Northwest
I’ll say it, Northwest is the most consistently good dining hall. I can’t wait to stand in line for 45 minutes for General Tso’s chicken — a highlight meal every three weeks on Wednesdays. Extra points for the holiday decorations, meals and desserts. These remind me there is still joy in life.
Putnam
Thank you for training me to climb a mountain to reach you. Worth it for the Garrigus groundhog sightings. The Monday lunch wing bar made the sprained ankle from sliding down the icy stairs worth it, but I did not appreciate it when the bar turned into employee-served instead of self-serve. I don’t need the workers to know how many wings I can put down or the shame that comes with asking for more.
Towers
Special thanks to the Yellow Line for making this destination somewhat convenient, but still rarely worth it. Towers represents the sunshine-and-rainbows version of life we tell children for freshmen. Real life hits when you move from the hill and realize nothing compares to the stir-fry bar but don’t have time to wait for the Yellow Line on Tuesday nights.
South
You’re mid. I love you Soop Doop, have a blessed day.
Buckley
What is there really to say about you besides knowing why they’re closing you after this semester. It really sucked walking from Hilltop Dorms when it was the only quarantine dining hall in 2020 and my floor was under quarantine for the third time that semester (shout out to the sorority girl on my floor for being the reason we were in quarantine, I definitely didn’t rejoice when the cops came to your door because someone had notified them you had weed).
North
No, it’s okay North. I would for sure much rather go to you than the totally not much better and accessible Northwest. My favorite meal is totally white rice with soy sauce and pizza that somehow looks worse than a $15 11-inch frozen pizza from Price Chopper. You being the only dining hall I was allowed in during the two weeks of quarantine before the semester started in August 2020 definitely did not cause me to lose enough weight for my family to be concerned.
Whitney
Something about you, Whitney, is just so intimidating. Like, I can’t wear sweatpants and have dirty hair, you’re just too bougie. I need the art students to know I’m cool and not a STEM major infiltrating their curated vibes and miniature menu. I have to admit I feel cool in the back, pretending I am in a little café with important things to complete — not the New York Times games.
Clearly the UConn dining halls had a hold on me, as a senior living in an apartment I spent the money to access these glorified cafeterias. I just couldn’t get enough of those medium-cooked, pink-centered chicken thighs and red, white and blue cookies (crasins in cookies; best idea since combining the two weekend loops into one bus).
And if anyone would like a swipe, my name is Maddie Archambeau and I’ll be here until May 4. I hope Super South provides false hope for the incoming freshman for what is to come once the dining halls stop caring after the first four weeks.