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You are worth more than what you might believe

As college is our last few steps before entering the “real world,” we spend our years here trying to understand who we are and who we want to be. Lately, I have been constantly questioning who I am supposed to be and if I am living correctly. You could answer these in many different ways, depending on your field of study. If you’re studying anthropology, this becomes ‘nature versus nurture.’ Maybe you’re studying psychology, and this is something to do with the brain. Or maybe, you’re studying biology and it’s all about genetic makeup. I’ve read through all my psychology notes, trying to put my tuition to use in real time, but I’ve realized that only I can really answer those questions.  

The idea of self-worth and how you value yourself can either make or break you—literally. It branches out into many facets of your life, from your interpersonal relationships to academic experiences. Your self-worth is important, but you should remember it is most important to you. It is yours to look after, to care for and to cultivate. 

I have had a storied history grappling with the idea of self-worth—20 years of it so far. It’s a tricky thing to understand but, from what I have learned, it’s only as hard as you make it. Throughout the years, I have attached my self-worth to many different things, whether it was competition, academics or personal success. In doing this, I learned this is probably the absolute worst thing you could do. I consider myself to be a competitive person, as I like to win. However, competition is so extremely volatile that there is no singular strategy for winning. This is why you’ll always lose at least once, no matter who you are or what you’re doing.  

Competition requires training to try and mitigate your chance of losing. Placing your self-worth into something so volatile is unhelpful, and you are setting yourself up to fail. Measuring your self-worth in academic achievement and personal success is similarly unhealthy. Most of you may know that progress is not linear. There is no quick fix or quick turnaround to a personal problem. Rather, it’s a rollercoaster. Why attach your self-worth to something so out of your grasp? 

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

While coming to understand self-worth, I’ve learned the idea of “self-love” is to care for my well-being and happiness. There is significant gratification in your own presence; I often see people scared of being alone, as they fear time to themselves. I can understand being alone for too long is miserable, and I’ve been there before. However, to grow, you need to find solace within yourself. That’s when you can truly figure out who you are. 

It’s hard to escape the feeling of wanting to hide behind groups and masks to feel worthy of love and feel a sense of belonging. A facade can always be held up, but for how long? How long until it catches up to you and eats you alive? Taking the steps toward understanding who you are will ultimately lead to a system of people that you want and deserve to be around. Through trying to understand who I am, I’ve learned that you attract what you put out, so you don’t want to put a facade out there, do you?  

Understanding who you are is a very complicated and convoluted process. Some people already have it figured it out, while others will take years to create a healthy view of their own worth. It’s something that takes hard work, dedicated time and even isolation. Don’t come to conclusions before you figure out who you are in the first place.  

You are worthy of love, belonging and respect. You just have to figure that out yourself. 

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