As millions of red, heart shaped and cheap memorabilia are spewed out to the public this upcoming Valentine’s Day, here’s one reminder: You can do better than a $15 dollar box of chocolates. While the sentiment is definitely there, I’m sure your significant other would appreciate a handmade gift, a thoughtfully written card or anything personalized to show you’re not blinded by the mass-produced gifts that CVS shoves in our faces. Is a greeting card with a pre-written “I love you” and throwing a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers together truly representative of romance?
I hate to be the one to say it, but Valentine’s Day is undeniably cheesy. And trust me, I bear no hatred toward Valentine’s Day (maybe a twinge of bitterness, but that’s beside the point). We are told that over-the-top romantic clichés and mass-produced affection are the only ways to spend the day. The lack of originality is ultimately the root of the holiday’s cheesiness. There is a distinct difference between an authentic, heartfelt romantic gesture and one that’s simply expected. Feeling as though someone is just going through the motions to check off the “romantic gesture” boxes is not only hurtful, but meaningless. I’d much rather cozy up to the new Ben & Jerry’s chocolate covered strawberry ice cream. At least I can count on those two men to never disappoint me.
A box of chocolates is quite literally sweet, but not inherently thoughtful. Upon receiving my first chocolates from someone in my past—they didn’t even know my favorite type of chocolate, nor did they care to ask — they gifted me the nearest chocolates on the clearance aisle. Minimal effort and no personalization, man did I feel loved! Decades of romantic comedies, commercials and television programming have conditioned the public to remember the formula: chocolates, flowers, a big-old teddy bear and if you’re really lucky, a $10 card. The entire holiday thrives on and reeks of predictability, which is part of why it feels so cheesy. But does that cheesiness make it bad, or does it just mean we’re stuck in an uninspired loop of gift-giving?
With an unspoken gift hierarchy, what exactly makes a gift “good”? Is it the price tag? The surprise factor? The practicality? A good gift isn’t necessarily expensive or extravagant—it’s something that reflects effort, thought and an understanding of who’s on the receiving end. The best gifts show that you know the person well enough to choose something uniquely suited to them. Personalized gifts, like an inside joke turned into a custom T-shirt, a playlist of songs that remind you of each other or a handwritten letter that captures feelings no store-bought card ever could, are great gifts. Even if you aren’t the creative type, anything other than a pre-packaged red plastic box will suffice.
Other ideas for gifts can be shared experiences like a cooking class, concert tickets or a weekend getaway that creates memories that last longer than a box of chocolates. Handmade gifts are also a good route! Whether it’s a photo album, a scrapbook or even a playlist, a DIY gift shows effort and sentimentality. A handwritten letter or a story can also be a great gift. Writing down what someone means to you carries a level of sincerity that no Hallmark card can replicate.
If your love story deserves more than a mass-produced holiday script, then maybe this Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to rewrite the narrative. And hey, if nothing else, at least you won’t have to fight the crowds at CVS for the last sad box of chocolates. Perhaps the biggest question we should ask ourselves is: Why do we only emphasize grand “romantic gestures “on this one day? Love isn’t confined to Feb.14, so why should our effort be? A great, lasting, relationship isn’t defined by how well you perform on one predetermined occasion but rather by the consistent thoughtfulness and appreciation shown throughout the year. If Valentine’s Day is the only day you’re putting in effort, maybe the issue isn’t the gifts—it’s the relationship itself (or maybe, just maybe, you are the problem!)
So, this Valentine’s Day, rather than defaulting and caving to the nearest drugstore display, take a moment to think: What would truly make my person feel loved? If the answer is still a box of chocolates, then amazing—at least you put thought into it. But if you’re just buying it because it’s “the day of love” and that’s what you’re “supposed” to do, maybe it’s time to change it up. Your loved one deserves more than just a mass-produced, autopilot romance.