Like the “Barbie Movie” and “Oppenheimer” double whammy, but all packed into one feature film; the past few months have been dominated by one piece of media: “A Minecraft Movie.” With support from America’s favorite restaurant, McDonald’s, and a seemingly unending cesspit of memes, how does this movie actually stack up? Does it reach max build-height? Or does it fall into the void below bedrock?
Ayyan Tamjeed, Campus Correspondent (he/him/his):
“Chicken Jockey,” “Flint and Steel,” “the NETHER!”
Now that I’ve got the catchphrases out of the way, it’s time to critically analyze the Minecraft movie.
To summarize, “A Minecraft Movie” is a rushed, poorly written piece of CGI slop. Everything felt too rushed and the whole plot felt like going from point A to B. The story is lacking as well; it feels like a boilerplate kid’s adventure story set in the Minecraft world. My friend hoped that the movie would be centered around the journey to the end. You know, like how the story actually is in Minecraft?
About the CGI: I thought it was pretty decent. While the animal and mob designs looked hideous at first, I think I came around to tolerating them in the end. The backgrounds look amazing in my opinion. My complaint is that everything looks a bit too detailed, which is just not Minecraft’s style.
To be honest, this movie’s saving grace is its comedy, plus watching it with friends at a theatre definitely upgrades the experience. Jack Black and Jason Momoa make a “man sandwich,” which is worth the price of admission and then some. I kind of wished there was more to the Jennifer Coolidge-Village subplot, that was lowkey more interesting than the main plot. Still, whenever Black said one of the lines above, the whole cinema erupted in cheers.
If you do want to watch “A Minecraft Movie,” watch it in cinemas, you won’t regret it.
Rating: 3.14159/5
Noa Climor, Social Media Outreach Coordinator (she/her/hers):
I think the Minecraft movie took me on a beautiful adventure. It was horrifically done, the sound editing made me anxious and the plot was practically nonexistent. However, I think this movie was brilliant. It brought a community together, and at a time like this, we needed to be unified with this movie. My good friends and I had a wonderful time with the mines, and I yearned for more.
Rating: 4/5
Ky’Lynn Monts, Digital Editor (she/her/hers):
For my first roundtable, there is no better introduction than talking about “A Minecraft Movie.”
With complete honesty, it felt like the directors gave some 12-year-old a Hollywood budget and said, “make me a movie that 20-year-old college kids will watch as a joke and then fall in love with.” And somehow, it worked. Being a 20-year-old college kid, I was very entertained.
The chaotic scenes between the villager and the principal created a duo I did not know I needed. Every time he hit her with the “Hrmm” and she carried on the conversation as if she understood what he was saying, it was great bad comedy.
Did I walk away with any life-lessons? No. Was I expecting to? No. But did I laugh a lot when everyone in the audience clapped and yelled, “Flint and Steel, “CHICKEN JOCKEY” and “I am Steve”? Oh, 100%. This movie hit me with just the right amount of nostalgia, reminding me of the times when I would just get on the game with the boys and craft.
Rating: 4/5
Benjamin Lassy, Life Editor (he/him/his):
What should a country do with its brightest minds and most handsome actors? Put them to good use of course. “A Minecraft Movie” does just that; it takes the full power of this generation’s pent-up brain-rot and gives it a splash potion of weakness and a golden apple. If you know, you know.
I am grateful that the youth are starting to understand its humor. We’ve seen it surface with marketing gimmicks like the ad campaigns on fast food chains’ social media platforms—however cringey that may be—but prior to “A Minecraft Movie,” I don’t think we’ve ever seen today’s youth have such a bold comedic display. I applaud this film for owning its shortcomings and for catering to the strange, meme-riddled minds we have today.
Years from now, as we’re in retirement homes, “Chicken Jockey” will undoubtedly be 7-down on a crossword puzzle, the question being: What line brings you back the fondest memories of your youth?
Rating: 5/5
James Fitzpatrick, Associate Life Editor (he/him/his):
Where does this story take place? The Nether? Lava Chicken L.L.C.? No. It’s all green-screened very poorly with an uncanny mix of real actors and CGI. “I am Steve” and the “full-man sandwich” are now cemented as the best moments cinema has to offer, but otherwise, the movie is weak. The producers may have let too many first-draft drawing board ideas and unpaid interns shape the final product. Regardless, seeing it with a theater full of college students made for an unforgettable night!
Rating: 2/5