Incoming students surely know the relief that comes with the end of the school year, when the stress from homework, waking up early and all the other nuisances of going to school are dissolved. The end of high school is no exception, and I hope that this particularly special summer has been restful and full of wonderful moments for you to enjoy after all your hard work. You’ve earned it.
After my first year here at UConn, that end-of-year relief came over me more strongly than ever, which made for a swift realization: Plainly stated, I was too stressed out last year. Plagued by irrational fears and chasing visions of who I thought I should be, I spent too much time worrying when I could have been simply exploring instead. I don’t want you all to make that same mistake.
The main thing holding me back was being afraid to fail — and not just in my classes. I was somehow always mentally debating the right thing to do, as if there were only one true path. And so, I felt like I had to build up walls to protect myself from everything that could go wrong.
Deep down, a lot of that stemmed from worrying about the influence other people had on me, seeing that I was doing things I had never done before and wondering who I was becoming. I mean, honestly, since when do I listen to Noah Kahan? I’ve realized, though, that it’s unavoidable: In the years to come, and maybe forever, there will be moments when the answer to the question “who am I?” is “I’m not sure.” And that doesn’t have to paralyze you.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s an important question to be asking, and you should be thoughtful about your actions and the kind of person you are choosing to be. After all, even if there’s not one right choice, there are definitely a few wrong ones. I won’t lie and say that you’ll never feel conflicted about the options in front of you — there will be a lot of them, and plenty of people around you will go in opposing directions.
At the same time, you don’t have to let those feelings bring you down, and you definitely do not need to feel like you’re the only one confused. Everyone is living life for the first time, and no one has all the answers. In truth, being unsure of your way is a gift. If you run with it and let down your guard, you might just figure out who you want to be. The challenge is to stay true to yourself while also letting yourself grow, and while that doesn’t always feel easy, here is my best advice: If something seems wrong, listen to that gut feeling, but if something just feels scary, go ahead and take that chance. There is so much to discover in college, but no time to wait around for all the answers to appear. Go forth and find them yourself.
At the end of the day, just make sure to give yourself the grace and time to figure out what you really want. If you already know, don’t listen to those who tell you that you should want something else instead. If you don’t have everything figured out yet, you don’t need to fight the fear; you should embrace it. It’s okay, and inevitable, to be in a state of transition, and it’s okay to change your mind a hundred times. The freedom to do just that is the beauty of your time here. So, make the most of it and remember to listen to your heart; it knows more than you might think.