Throughout adolescence, going to college is presented as “the best four years of your life.” Its portrayal in pop culture, the crazy stories told by your parents and the long-distance phone calls from friends at university all describe it as a young adult oasis. What doesn’t always get mentioned is how isolating the experience can be and the loneliness that comes along with it.
When I first came to the University of Connecticut, I knew no one. As an out-of-state student from the Southeast, no one from my high school went to UConn and I didn’t have any family members in the area. Needless to say, my freshman year was difficult; friendships take time to form and even though I joined plenty of amazing clubs and extracurriculars, there were moments when it felt like standing on the outside looking in. There were many times I considered transferring; it was difficult to see that those feelings of isolation would eventually end. During those moments, it would have been helpful to have external support, something more than WOW Weekend or a basketball game to help me feel that I truly belonged here. Something I felt that was missing — the presence of a supportive resident assistant.
Throughout my freshman year in Shippee Hall, I could count on one hand the interactions that I had with my RA. Outside of mandatory floor meetings, I never saw them, and when I did reach out to discuss some issues I was having on the floor, I had to resolve them on my own regardless. The role of an RA at UConn should be more than room checks and writing students up for underage drinking.
The few interactions I had with my RA, though, were overwhelmingly positive. Their advice helped me talk to my advisor about undergraduate research, which ultimately led me to become involved in a lab. Had I had that mentorship throughout my freshman year, I think it would have been a much more positive experience.
I also understand that students on campus may not want their RA to become more involved in their lives because of the nature of the role. Perhaps RAs may not be the best solution for supporting new freshmen, but Floor Mentors might be.
Floor Mentor is a position that upperclassmen can fill in Learning Communities at UConn. A part of their role is to provide two hours of active mentoring each week, along with participating in other trainings. In a description of the position from UConn’s Learning Communities, Britney Salas, an alumna of the program who worked at WiMSE House, said, “I applied to be a Floor Mentor because of the abundance of support and kindness I have received from this community since my freshman year, and I wanted to give back as much love as I could in the role. This experience…served as a reminder that no one is ever alone. Creating bonds with mentees has provided me equal support on my hardest days, by receiving the same encouragement I have given them…The beauty of mentoring is that we have so much to learn from each other.”
This testimonial is evidence that this kind of mentorship should be in other freshman-year residence halls outside of Werth. These students work to foster a sense of community and inclusion on their floor, collaborating with RAs and other mentors to create an environment that makes students feel they belong. Having floor mentors in all freshman dorms would make a difference, and it’s something that UConn should consider implementing as part of the first-year experience.
I made it through my freshman year, and now, as a sophomore, I have found my people and have started to find my place at UConn. But there were moments when I thought the feelings of isolation and loneliness would never end. From talking to my peers, it seems that these emotions are common amongst first-year students. Getting RAs more involved and implementing floor mentors in a widespread manner will help freshmen feel supported and not alone.
However, until that happens, it’s time for students to take the lead. If you come to UConn from Connecticut, it can be easy to form groups with the people you have known in high school. But I sincerely urge you to talk to people and form bonds with students that may not have those connections; you never know how much they really need it.