“I can’t wait to see all the great things you’ll do!”
At the end of senior year as everyone is scrambling to sign yearbooks, this line is guaranteed to be found in more than one message. Closing out our four years of high school, the energy is electrifying. We live life to the fullest in those magic months between May and August, making fond memories before we depart and leave the nest for college. Everyone celebrates as we complete such an accomplishment and enter the next chapter of our lives — a chapter promising new friends, new experiences and excitement that comes with independence. However, this may not turn out to be the experience for some. For many people, they’re just met with disappointment.
Going into college, we may have this idealized image of college life in our head — one that is glorified and brimming with vibrant parties, lively friend groups and a romanticized life full of fun adventures and side quests. But things don’t always turn out as we had hoped. After completing the first half of the semester, life might just feel mediocre.
When I came into college, I had my heart set on joining an a cappella group. In high school, performing was my passion and I was fortunate enough to have had some amazing opportunities to pursue it. My school had a wonderful theatre program through which I acted in many productions and met my closest friends. I also sang in a rock band and had the opportunity to perform at events with large audiences. At the beginning of the school year, I attended the fall a cappella rush concert. It blew me away, leaving me wanting it even more.
However, the audition experience didn’t turn out how I wanted it to. Of the five groups I auditioned for, I only received a callback from one. After a few days, I received a phone call breaking the news and encouraging me to reaudition next semester. This experience, among other rejections, left me feeling hopeless and helpless.
But, if we consider our circumstances, it is only normal to feel this way. In the spring, my class finished out high school with four years of growth, accomplishments and worthwhile experiences under our belt. However, entering college, some of us are rebuilding our lives from absolutely nothing. While some people come to UConn knowing familiar faces from high school, some of us come not knowing a single soul. As an out-of-state student from New York, I felt utterly out of place in the beginning, and still feel this way from time to time.
A large source of these feelings can also be attributed to comparing ourselves with the versions of other people that we see. Especially with social media facilitating public connectivity, we are constantly flooded with snapshots into other people’s lives. Swiping through people’s stories, it’s easy to feel a pang of jealousy seeing the fun nights out or the impressive achievements of our peers at this point in our lives. Seeing how accomplished or happy somebody seems in real life can feel discouraging — as if you are behind. But even if it seems that everyone else has their life together, there will always be people experiencing the same struggles. Behind the version of themselves that a person presents to the world, we truly have no idea what they are experiencing on the inside.
Some things simply take time. Think back to high school. You probably didn’t meet your best friends or make the varsity volleyball team during your freshmen year. In life, we are constantly enduring different seasons that come with their own unexpected storylines and new characters. Though the present seems like forever sometimes, we should remind ourselves that nothing is permanent and that we can’t predict what the world will throw at us next. It can feel like certain outcomes are our own fault, but we must keep in mind that this is not a reflection of our worth or ability.
Caught in this whirlwind called college, it is easy to forget what it’s like to feel like yourself. Even if life isn’t going as planned, we can practice small routines that bring us joy and give us a moment to slow down. This could be exercising, writing in a journal or reaching out to friends and family from back home. For me, it’s playing guitar. Singing along, strumming the chords and listening to my guitar resonating brings me a familiar peace and comforting nostalgia. It’s also important to appreciate the small wins and moments, no matter how ordinary or seemingly mundane. In these times, the small happinesses are worth more than we’d think.
As we navigate college, we must remember that everyone is on their own timeline. All we can do is keep our head up, our spirits hopeful and our gaze pointed toward the future.