There is no better way to describe the ideal holiday aesthetic than sitting in front of a burning fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa in your hand and an ugly Christmas sweater hugging your torso. The only thing left to top it off? Background music. So you go on your phone and press “shuffle play” on a random Christmas Classics playlist and the godforsaken words, “Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul” start to blare. The immediate response is to hit skip, but the fumbling of your hands causes you to spill your drink, extinguishing the fire and ruining your beloved sweater. In any scenario where “Frosty the Snowman” plays, this visual representation of my emotions never fails to manifest.
Considering the song is meant for kids, my thoughts might be considered overdramatic. But it’s not just that the story of a snowman coming to life, hanging out with a bunch of kids and then leaving is unappealing to me, it’s the vexing repetitive nature of the lyrics. The lyrical structure of the song was derived from a designated group of sadists, based on how the phrase “Frosty the Snowman,” which starts every verse, makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
Along with repetition, lack of creativity is another flaw within the lyrics. The only thing worse than listening to the line “Frosty the Snowman” being sung three times in the same tune is listening to “Thumpety thump thump” go on for an entire verse. Onomatopoeia may be used well in books, poems and other forms of literature, but including it in a holiday song is enough to ruin it. Basically, if I were given the choice to listen to “Frosty the Snowman” for an hour or “Jingle Bells” on a 10-hour loop, I would gladly choose the latter.
Aside from songs about live snowmen, songs about Santa Claus have been a staple for as long as Christmas has been around. However, there is one in particular that may not be as egregious as “Frosty the Snowman,” but it definitely does not make it to my list of best holiday songs. “Santa Baby” came out in 1953 and actually ended up getting banned in certain parts of the U.S. for its vulgar undertones. Even the composer of the song, Phil Springer, admits to not liking it initially.
“Gentlemen, this is not really the kind of music that I like to write. I hope it’s okay. It’s the best I could do,” Springer said in an interview for the Los Angeles Times.
The concept of being attracted to Santa is one that I have never and probably will never understand. Even though seducing Santa for gifts is a good way to get a qualified sugar daddy, making a song about it is questionable. Christmas is a time associated with wholesome gift-giving and spending time with loved ones. There’s no need to make it sexy. It’s fine just the way it is.
Esther Ju is a campus correspondent for The Daily Campus. They can be reached via email at firstname.lastname@example.org.