If we’re lucky in the Opinion section, we work through our beliefs completely and support them with great arguments. But sometimes, we don’t need a deeper reason to hold our convictions. Rapid Fire is for those tweet-length takes that can be explained in just a sentence or two — no more justification needed.
In this Rapid Fire, writers gave their opinions on the question: What’s on your 2023 bingo card?
Madeline Papcun, Opinion Editor: Call me crazy, but I think the menacing clowns from 2016 are going to come back. 2023 just feels like the year for that.
Nell Srinath, Associate Opinion Editor: MrBeast will celebrate 150 million subscribers by giving away the means of production.
Harrison Raskin, Editor-in-Chief: In another Harambe-like incident, the ape escapes to raise the child in the wilderness, eventually leading the successful revolution for zoo abolition and animal liberation.
Owen Silverman, Weekly Columnist: Leonardo DiCaprio will announce his presidential campaign alongside his older (29 years old) female companion.
Dan Stark, Weekly Columnist: George Santos, now going under his real name Anthony Devolder, announces that he has information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton and then is mysteriously found dead two days later.
Keegan Reck, Staff Writer: The death of Joe Biden. It has been too long since a president has died while in office.