For some people, a single life can be hell on Earth. A time condemned to loneliness and a lack of comfort from a partner; truly the stuff of nightmares. But for the chronically single, it has its benefits and there’s a reason why therapists recommend time alone between relationships. Being single can open up a world of possibilities — one where you’re in charge.
The best part about being single is that you have a lot more time for things than you thought was possible. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing the mundane with a significant other, like grocery shopping and watching movies, but sometimes you need time for yourself. The ability to do basic things alone makes you less likely to fall into patterns of codependency, which is defined as excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner. While there’s definitely time you should be spending with your partner, too much of it together can lead to an unhealthy obsession with each other.
With time firmly grasped in your own hands, you get to decide where and when you want to spend your hours. Hated hanging out with their friends every weekend at the bar? Congratulations, you can binge-watch “Bridgerton” on the couch in peace. Maybe you were stuck with a control freak that made sure you were home by a certain time every night. Kiss that nonsense goodbye, because you can go wherever you want now.
We all know that person who rushes into relationships because they can’t stand the thought of being alone (or maybe they’re just really horny). You see them end up deep in a passionate bond, time and time again, that fizzles out by the end of the month. It’s a shame because if they took some time to themselves, they could actually reevaluate their life and what they want from a relationship or a casual partner.
Being single gives you the chance to know yourself properly. You can enjoy time spent with friends, coworkers and family without the fear of abandoning someone else. During these moments, you’ll probably find yourself closer to your friends than you were while in a relationship, and that’s okay. But sometimes being single flat-out sucks and that’s okay too.
When everyone around you is in a committed relationship, it can feel like you’re stuck as the odd one out. But romance comes and goes, and everyone gets their time in the sun again. It’s important for you to not give up hope. Dating can be complicated and it can take a while to truly find something special. Sometimes dating can burn us so bad we need time to ourselves, and that’s okay too. In these moments of introspection, we can learn to love ourselves more and take a look at our own flaws.
Look at being single as a vacation for you. During this holiday, you don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself. Let the couples wear matching pajamas and argue over the dishes, while you have a dishwasher and a cool onesie. Fear of getting cheated on? Your pet would never do such a thing. That $70 dropped on date night is $70 you can spend on a ticket to Miami. No more awkwardly smiling in photos, secretly hating friends or wondering what they’re thinking. You’re single and living shit up the way you’re supposed to be.