If we’re lucky in the Opinion section, we work through our beliefs completely and support them with great arguments. But sometimes, we don’t need a deeper reason to hold our convictions. Rapid Fire is for those tweet-length takes that can be explained in just a sentence or two — no more justification needed.
In this Rapid Fire, writers gave their opinions on the question: In a hypothetical scenario, how would you get out of jury duty? (IN THEORY)
Maddie Papcun, Opinion Editor: Fake your own death a la Metro Man in “Megamind.”
Nell Srinath, Associate Opinion Editor: Take those test-taking skills to the voir dire. Make sure to study the case as closely as possible and MAKE SURE you develop specific opinions on the defendant, plaintiff and each of the witnesses. When the attorney asks you about your biases, you’ll ace every question.
Harrison Raskin, Editor-in-Chief: Make sure to announce your bias that you are anti-judge, anti-court and anti-jury duty. Let them know that, while you will comply with the demands of the job, your heart will definitely not be in it.
Dan Stark, Weekly Columnist: I would stand up and announce “I don’t care what the evidence says, I’m voting guilty no matter what.” Burning down the Courthouse works too
Owen Silverman, Weekly Columnist: Run. RUN! RUNNNNNNNNNNNN!
