Mike’d Up: No one wants to see your penis, keep it to yourself

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A man texting, using his smartphone. General Manager of the New York Mets, Jared Porter, recently admitted to using his personal phone to send inappropriate messages to female colleagues. (Photo by @Norwood Themes/Unsplash)

Jared Porter, Kobe Bryant, Aroldis Chapman, Cristiano Ronaldo, Kristaps Porzingis, Ray Rice, Addison Russell, Domingo German, Steven Wright and a million more it seems. Those are all men who have been accused of domestic and/or sexual misconduct toward women in the past 20 years.  

These men have probably never feared for their livelihoods when they walk into work every Monday morning. These are stars and nobodies in the sports world; it can be anyone, even if they get a good report on their character from other men.  

These men have likely never thought twice about the people around them. They’ve never known the anxiety that bubbles up from your toes when you’re forced to be in the same room as the person who has caused you the most harm. They don’t understand the discomfort, the fear. I know from experience. 

It’s always on your mind. You can’t escape the thought that they’re around the corner, ready to pop out at any moment. Looking for something from you, never trying to do something for you. They don’t care what you want, they only care about addressing their own needs. It makes you feel worthless.  

It shouldn’t be like this. No one should feel like this. Not those people, not anyone. Everyone has the same right to go about their business in peace. We all deserve the same treatment. Just because you have a penis doesn’t mean anyone wants to see it. If they do, they’ll tell you. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.  

I read Mina Kimes and Jeff Passan’s story for ESPN on Jared Porter in bed on Tuesday and I couldn’t sleep. It has been eating at me all week. On Wednesday afternoon I saw a tweet from Hannah Keyser. She asked New York Mets President Sandy Alderson if they asked any women in the vetting process for Porter’s hiring as Mets general manager. He said no. 

It made me boil with rage. How can you not ask any women about interacting with this man? They make up over half the world’s population. You couldn’t find a single woman who had spent time with him? Or had received 62 unanswered texts and pictures from?  

I understand that the baseball business is largely made up of men, because there are massive barriers to entry for women, but he’s worked with women in the past. He shared the same front office as Raquel Ferreira for years. It shouldn’t all fall on her, but it’s worth a call before making him your general manager.  

How many people have to suffer before this stops happening?  

Just because you feel insecure doesn’t mean you have the right to take someone else’s power away. Treating women badly doesn’t make you more of a man, it makes you a dick at best and a criminal at worst.  

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