As I prepare to be shoved out of the safety of the airplane that is college, I can’t help but scramble to figure out what it is about school that I love so I can take it with me out into the open air.
Even as a person who took a gap year between high school and college, it still unnerves me to think that this will be the end of an era unique to my age and status in society. The University of Connecticut has been my safety net from outside pressures and taking on heavy family responsibilities, and I will miss the reprieve.
I will no longer be in the loop, but I will be out in the cold adult world wishing I’d taken this class, gone to this sports game or joined The Daily Campus my freshman year instead of literally my last year here.
During my freshman year, I was by myself in North residence hall, cooped up because of the COVID-19 pandemic and separated from everyone as if we were individually wrapped produce. It was to the point at which seeing someone else in the communal bathroom was too much social interaction.
I started as a fine arts major and discovered that the island-like Arts Building made me feel too far away from UConn. In sophomore year, I joined an arts learning community where I shared one room with two other girls. Our floor was always doing things together, and our neighbor would always come into our room to dance or sing at us.
Things felt so much more alive; it was night and day. When I took The Press in America with Professor Amanda Crawford, I completely picked up what she was putting down and felt as if I belonged in the major. It makes sense that I’d pick two of the smaller departments to be a part of.
When my involvement began is when I started doing college right.
The UConn women’s club soccer team is my college love, and I’m so grateful they found my old goalkeeping Hudl account from high school. The team’s culture is really magical, and we play to win — if it wasn’t obvious from the team flying to the National Championship all the years I was there.
It’s truly just a big celebration of girls who grew up with that fire in their hearts and never stopped loving soccer despite wanting to have other facets in their lives. All these girls are impressive athletes who are tough as nails but love to dress up and connect.
(Every time I try to explain what college soccer means to me, I just can’t do it without feeling like it’s too cheesy. Excuse me while I make a little love letter rant.)
It’s a sport I’ve loved throughout girlhood. Before I could walk, I was kicking a soccer ball — stumble, kick, stumble, get up, kick. I’ve been on so many teams and experienced my own temperament change.
As a goalie, we train to increase the possibility of saving a shot, and they do it with no protective gear, just a dream. The rush you get from flying through the air is surreal. It’s also the only position of its kind on the field. You’re in the defensive line, but not a defender. You can either save the day, crumple from shame or be invisible in a game — or all three!
The nature of the position is putting yourself on the line to protect your team from a loss. You can see the entire field from the goal, so you should be yelling almost nonstop to let your players know when there’s an open man. Communication helps them feel supported; communication can prevent confidence breakdowns that cause goals.
I joke that sometimes being in women’s club soccer is like being on the TV show “Glee” because everyone has their own friends and lives outside of it, but all the girls choose to show up to all of the games and practices. We don’t take ourselves seriously, but we take soccer seriously. It’s a mishmash of different personalities, but that’s what is so refreshing and grounding.
I need pockets of community that are very different and bring different information and energy to my life. From playing “Dungeons & Dragons” on the weekends in a McHugh classroom, taking Jujutsu, taking pottery with Professor Monica Bock, doing my journalism internship to working at The Daily Campus, my senior year was so ambitious. I just don’t want it to end.
The only aspiration I have is to continue to be a part of diverse communities after college, despite leaving the wonderful bubble that is UConn, where meeting wonderful humans is just around the corner. Hell, I met my girlfriend in Hilltop Apartments!
A moment that sticks out to me is a Friday leaving a fantastic “D&D” session. I was walking back to my car–which was illegally parked near the library. I passed by Susan V. Herbst Hall and saw other groups of students sitting inside through the window. They were also bunched together, laughing with their character sheets in front of them and mood music playing on the projector.
In the next window, I saw people dancing with the chairs pushed to the corners of the room. Students were leaving the library chatting, a girl was crying to a boy on the Dodd Center steps and a professor was engrossed in a conversation by their car.
There is always so much going on at this school and it gives me such peace to be around the energy of human activity. I wish I could be in a million places at once, but I’m satisfied just seeing it happen, even from a window.
I don’t think I’ll ever quench my propensity for improvement, so at this moment, I’m trying to accept my college journey as finished and a job well done. Here’s to hoping I can be helpful to my community wherever I land next.
…but we’ll always have Paris