Since entering the male dominated field of investment management, it has been a fascinating challenge to adjust to the atmosphere. While preparing for my summer externship, I wondered what it was going be like to be the only woman in the room. I spent hours considering what kind of outfit I should wear.
I thought about the women in power I respected and took fashion inspiration from them. Sometimes they wore a black suit, sometimes a blue one and daringly, sometimes they wore a white suit. But when I really thought to myself, “What do I actually want to wear?”, none of these options were on the list. Instead, I bought pink professional pants and pink Nike sneakers to match. I felt nervous about it, but I did it anyway. Why did I feel pressure to dull down my personality and femininity just to fit in at the office?
It seems that I might not be the only woman struggling with what to wear in a professional setting. For years, women’s fashion has evolved to represent the incorporation of women into the workforce, and the challenges that come with it. It wasn’t until World War II, when women had to take on traditionally male occupations, that pants for women became mainstream. Since then, there have been numerous other changes in women’s clothing and presentation. Despite their subtlety, these changes say a lot more about our society.
Perhaps the most notable example can be found in the 1980’s with the rise in popularity of pronounced shoulder pads. Though popular in past generations, the 1980’s shoulder pads took on a different meaning. In a period where women were still expected to take up less space, the dramatic shoulder pads were a social statement and represented the image of the working woman. Broad shoulders made someone look more manly. They commanded respect.
I don’t necessarily think that is a good thing. While it may have worked for a little while to empower women in the workforce, shoulder pads did not address the root cause of the problem. The real issue is that when women want to feel powerful, they feel pressured to emulate more “traditionally masculine” traits.
For generations, the ideas of authority and assertiveness have been tied to “masculine” energy. This means speaking at a louder volume, interrupting more often or feeling confident enough to engage in debate or back-and-forth conversations. While these traits do have benefits in many situations, it is important not to abandon the “traditionally feminine” qualities that also make a good leader. These qualities like empathy, collaboration and emotional intelligence are key values in a leader, but in pursuit of power, many women leave them behind.
Somewhere along the way, society convinced itself that the traditional aspects of femininity and power must be mutually exclusive. The reality is that a combination of both feminine and masculine qualities makes someone the most powerful. Assertiveness doesn’t mean abandoning empathy. Confidence doesn’t mean giving up consideration. You can wear a dress and still command attention and power. Women shouldn’t feel pressure to leave behind their authentic personalities, just so they can feel heard in a conversation.
So, to all my ladies out there: don’t dull your femininity or your personality in pursuit of power and respect. Your feminine qualities aren’t points of weakness. Quite the opposite—your feminine traits are what make you stronger and more authentic. They add to your potential, and they are powerful on their own, so don’t hide them. Your kindness, intelligence and skills are what make people respect you, not the width of your shoulders or the volume of your voice.